Breaking Through Without Tony Robbins

July 31, 2010 by  
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Late last night after a long day that involved welcoming my sister and nieces arriving from Brazil, I watched Tony Robbins’s show “Breakthrough” which I had previously recorded.   I was interested in seeing what the promos of the show had been advertising for weeks; people with great obstacles being taught and/or shown how to overcome them.

I don’t know much about Tony Robbins.  The extend of my knowledge amounts to talking to a few people that have taken his courses, skimming through his books, and catching minutes of commercials or infomercials on TV.  The reason I never gave him and his teaching more time than that is because I’ve never been too interested in mathematics when it comes to emotions.  Smile and say life is great three times and you will be happy.

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Porn And Fame

July 30, 2010 by  
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I was reading today about Montana Fisburne, actor Laurence Fishurne’s daughter, porn film debut.  I’m no prude and really don’t care about people making, watching or whatever else they want in, about, or with the porn industry.  What caught my attention was her alleged statement: “I’ve watched how successful Kim Kardashian became and I think a lot of it was due to the release of her sex tape.”  This young woman wants to be famous and therefore she’s making a porn film.

How sad that fame is so glorified and people so empty inside that often we will commit acts against ourselves to achieve that which we think will bring us happiness.

Of course we are discussing  extreme  fame but how many of us have done things we did not believe in thinking others would look up to us?  Or how many of us have said things we didn’t believe in for the same reasons?

In this fast paced world of excesses and media cover up, the life of fame seems extremely attractive and we all want a part of it; with some of us more than others.  But fame as goal – which leaves behind who we are – eventually announces its true self as a blanket which aims to warm up our hearts but it can’t because it’s full of holes.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say investing in our own sense of self will bring more contentment than anything that fame or adulation can do for any of us.

Creating a sense of self-worth and connecting to meaning may not make headlines but for sure it makes for good living.

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Time And Success Are Relative, Love Is A Constant

July 29, 2010 by  
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I have always struggled with time.

When I was 15 years old and decided to start dancing, I thought I was already too old and would have a tough path ahead.

When I was in my early 20s, I thought I was falling behind in terms of accomplishments if compared to others around me.

Now in my 40s I struggle with the idea of being too old to still be attractive or not successful enough for my age.

What I have just described is a set of thoughts in my brain BUT the other set is:

1                     -  Time is a concept not a reality

Experience and quality, trumpets time.  Life is a continuous wave of opportunities for us to learn,  sculpt, and be.

2                     -  Success is a relative concept

Who is successful?  An individual with a high financial worth or someone who overcame his emotional limitations?

Success does not have to come with fireworks.  Accomplishments are personal and should matter to us more than to anybody else as only we know what took us to get from A to B.

3                     -  Love

Loving someone and being loved is not dependent on anything but a mysterious conversation that takes place between two people.  There is no age, race or gender requirement for sharing love.

This inner dialogue between the self, that is a by-product of our society, and the self that knows the mind and the heart are free in their essence is a constant.

The struggle makes me human and the achievement of inner balance between my two sides is loving, successful and always in the nick of time.

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Who Amongst Us Has Not Wondered At The Power And Capacity Of Life?

July 27, 2010 by  
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Most of us are so attached to what we perceive as reality that our view of life becomes very narrow.

Robert Lanza M.D., one of the leading scientists in the world writes “Reality is determined by the observer. Biocentrism tells us space and time are merely tools of the mind…The central concept of Descartes was the primacy of consciousness, that all knowledge begins with the individual. Thus the old adage: “I think, therefore I am.”

Time, space and therefore reality depend on how we, the observer, feel and process experience.  Therefore our existence is dependent on our intellectual and emotional landscape.

Life is truly personal but yet somehow we are determined to use general concepts created by ad-agencies of happiness, success, well-being to measure ourselves against.  In these sale pitches, happiness and success are often seen as material achievement and unrealistic relationships.

“…we must understand how we perceive the world. Indeed, how do we see when the brain is locked inside a vault of bone? How does our mind turn information into something so real that few people realize the images we ‘see’ are constructed inside our head?” – Robert Lanza M.D.

Life’s journey starts within us.  It is a path of self-knowledge.  Love is not born once we meet someone we fancy.  It already exists in us.  It will also not die if he or she is no longer in our lives.  Understanding that the love we share with others is actually ours is part of chiseling away the misconceptions we acquire through misguided living.

A friend recently said to me: “I so admire your even-temperedness in dealing with life.  I’m sure you are thankful for it but not necessarily by how you came to it.”  He was referring to my losing my husband.  I don’t know if he is right or not but I do know we don’t need to go through a loss to embrace how much life is our authorship.  Shit does happen but how we experience it, it’s up to us.

When at times I feel unhappy and stuck I ask myself; would I still be feeling this way if I was in a loving relationship?  If I was successful?  I let my mind wonder in these different scenarios but if I’m honest with my myself most often the answer is yes, I would still be feeling the same way because my well-being is not dependent on success or someone else.  Through this little exercise I put myself through it becomes clear the answer to my unquiet heart is in me.

Well-being is dependent of personal contentment which is a result of a close relationship with the self.

So the good news is enjoying our experience in life is up to us.  The bad news is…I don’t know J

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Find What Really Matters To You And Have A Meaningful Life

July 26, 2010 by  
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I must ask you again to indulge my story telling ways as I go around the world to make my point.

Saturday night I watched Valkyrie with Tom Cruise.  The film tells the story of the last attempt by German officials to assassinate Adolf Hitler.

It is not a great film but the real story is; men who saw wrong and risk their own lives to make it right.

I often talk and think about what gives meaning to our lives.  These German soldiers, Nelson Mandela, and many others throughout history, show us in a clear way what it is to believe in something so much that they are willing to lay down their lives for it.  But having meaning in life doesn’t have to involve life or death or big statements.  To most of us it means connecting to what is important and giving it its due respect.

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We Can Always Start Again

July 25, 2010 by  
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Please indulge me while I tell you a coffee story.

My late husband was really into coffee.  As a journalist, one of his favorite topics was coffee; the different beans and the ways they are ground.

When Chris first got sick with cancer – before his liver transplant – and the ammonia started to build in his system (liver processes ammonia) his mind started to get foggy.

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Never Give Up On Your Life

July 24, 2010 by  
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I was telling my dad this morning about Marc Abrams, the “walking doctor” of Silver Lake (http://theloveprojectinc.com/?p=3751) who committed suicide.  My dad who is going to be 87 years old in November said: “That’s really sad, to throw away life, the most precious gift we have.”

I thought back to when my late husband was very sick and I felt trapped.  I couldn’t imagine him going on suffering as he was for much longer and I couldn’t imagine living without him.  We loved each other in a way we had never experienced before and our lives were completely intertwined.  What would happen to me when he was no longer around?  How could I exist if he didn’t?

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Reminder: Do Not Judge

July 23, 2010 by  
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In my neighborhood of Silver Lake, California, until Wednesday (7/21/2010) lived a doctor Marc Abrams who was known as the “Walking Man”.

Marc was a famous fixture in my neighborhood of eclectic people.  He walked 20-30 miles a day as well as swam for hours on a daily basis.  Until last year he practice medicine and once upon a time he had been my late husband’s doctor.

Marc walked with a purpose and if you had a burning medical question rather than get on the phone and wait for a return call, you just needed to drive around until finding him and then get out of the car and walk with him.  He gave you all the time in the world as long as you kept up with him.

No one would ever think Marc would commit suicide.  Of course the entire neighborhood knew something had to be off but no one thought Marc would stop walking by his own accord.

Reading about his suicide again made me think none of us know what truly goes on each other’s heart and how each one of us processes information.  Every day I remind myself to be less judgmental and more accepting as who knows what battles have been waged that have allowed any of us  to be standing here?

Man is harder than iron, stronger than stone and more fragile than a rose.  ~Turkish Proverb

RIP Marc.

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The Greatest Gift; Seen For Who We Truly Art

July 22, 2010 by  
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I usually read a book while riding my stationary bike.  As I have just finished “Company of Liars”, I was looking through my husband’s books for something new to read.  I found “Paint It Black”, written by Janet Fitch a friend and a neighbor.

I had only read “White Oleander” by Janet and so I was excited to start on something else written by her.  I sat on my bike and started on the book.  The time the book is set in is John Lennon’s death and the setting, my own neighborhood, Silver Lake.

On page 7 Janet writes about Josie Tyrell, the main character and her boyfriend Michael: “She held on to him, her eyes closed, drinking in his smell, pine and moss and some peculiar chemistry of his own, that she craved the way an addict craved freebase.”

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Five Concepts To Know For Our Own Well Being

July 21, 2010 by  
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Human Hearts

Anyone who has read my writing knows I don’t go for things like: ten ways to be happy now, or, do these three things and you’ll get everything you have always wanted out of life.  The reason being is I think humans are complex and finding and pursuing a state of well-being is a life-long commitment without easy answers.  But there are general concepts that I believe every person working towards a better life should consider adopting and/or remembering:

1                     – A Sense Of Purpose

We all need that “thing” which gets us up in the morning and keeps our hearts and brains going even when the going gets tough.   We all have a core within which is the gas that keeps our engines going.  The problem is sometimes we get so lost between what society, parents and friends think and expect of us, we lose touch with our ultimate purpose.  Finding, reconnecting and embracing our purpose translates into huge leaps towards a more fulfilling life.

2                     – Living in the Present

Anyone who thinks “I’m going to be happy when…” I get the job, the money, the relationship I deserve is in for a big surprise.  Life seldom works as planned.  Something always comes out of left field and postponing being satisfied today for a future that may or may not happen seem like a waste of life.

Let’s live in the present and enjoy the relationships, job and money we have today.

3                     - Make Sure There Are Things On a Daily Basis That Bring You Wellness

That’s so simple to do.  We all have some easy, inexpensive, simple things we can do that can bring a smile to our faces.  Is that sitting in the park for ten minutes?  Calling a loved one and really being present in the conversation instead of going through a to-do list?  A warm bath?  A candle light dinner?  A romp with a dog? A romp? Whatever that “thing” is for each one of us, sprinkling these activities a couple of times or even once during the course of our day will affect our mood and ultimately our well-being.

4                     – Relationships

Relationships are like flowers (sorry for being corny here) and if we don’t tend to them they will wither and die.  How many articles, books and movies have been made about a person who dedicates his or her life to achieving goals to only be completely miserable because of not having anyone to share the success with?  We are social beings.  We need each other to survive both physically and psychologically.

There have been many studies that have stated one of the main qualities found in people living long lives is being part of a group. Sharing our lives with others make us feel part of something and feeds our hearts.

5                     – Give Something Of You To Someone Else

Helping others with our time and energy, places us up high in the animal chain. We all want to feel we are contributing to the betterment of this world.  Any gesture, small, medium, or large, will do the trick for us.

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