The Fine Line Between Loving With Our Entire Heart, And Losing It

July 4, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

Walking the very fine line between expectations and fully committing is always a tough one when it comes to the affairs of the heart.

You just met someone and you are excited about the possibilities.  Your emotional and sexual energies have been awoken.  You know part of your excitement is self-created, meaning it is being fed by your imagination but how much do you let yourself go?

A couple of weeks ago I read a post in the Huffington Post about a book which talks about falling in love with abandonment.  I’m sorry for not remembering the title or the book’s author.  Anyway, the female writer discusses how much we have lost by holding back, analyzing, and calculating our risks in our love relationships.  Her book wants to encourage us to live any love relationship with abandonment even if that means ending up with our hearts crushed.   Love to her is jumping off the mountain without knowing if your parachute will open because it doesn’t matter.  What matters is the rush as you fly around.

I’ve been thinking about that post.  Yes, in our efforts to spare our hearts before we are certain of our feelings and the intentions of others, make sense.  But loving and feeling with everything we have in the moment that is happening also makes sense, because life is to be fully lived each moment.

I think the answer is in knowing when we enter affairs of the heart, that a relationship may be short lived and that in the beginning a lot of the fuel (imagination) is actually coming from us, read to necessarily accurate.  Knowing that, gives us some solid ground on which we can fully give our hearts out.   Think about it.  A short lived love affair that is half experienced is not as powerful as a short lived affair in which we let our hearts go.  Also a long term relationship that starts with fireworks is more powerful than a long term relationship that starts tentatively.

I believe if we are aware of what is happening, and not completely taken by the emotions, no matter what happens we end up okay because as we commit with our hearts our minds are aware of what is happening and what the end result can be.  I think we mostly get in trouble when we think the relationship we are entering will last forever and be the most wonderful experience in the history of the world and to top it all off  it will solve all our emotional needs.

My thinking today is that we should experience our relationships as profoundly as possible – as feeling and experiencing is what keeps us going – but knowing they will not make us happily ever after just by existing and will last as long as they do.

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