Get Rid Of False Pride

July 15, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

I have found the following definitions for pride on the web:

  • a feeling of self-respect and personal worth
  • satisfaction with your (or another’s) achievements; “he takes pride in his son’s success”
  • the trait of being spurred on by a dislike of falling below your standards

Most of us have a frail or misplaced sense of worth.  We look at our world accomplishments to base our sense of self-respect and pride on, i.e. “I have X amount of dollars in the bank”, or “I’m really important I have Y job.”  But what happens when we lose the money or the job?  Do we also lose our sense of personal worth?  If someone tells us the job we are so proud of is not that important, do we lose our self-respect?

So here is where the problem takes place:  if anyone or anything threatens my sense of personal worth then I become combative and must retaliate.

How many of us have on a regular basis the following thoughts:

  • Who do they think they are talking to?
  • I am going to show them.
  • I’m going to put them in their place.

But if our sense of pride, personal worth, and self-respect came from who we are – our character – none of us would need to lash back and prove anything to anyone.

A sense of self-worth based on character can’t be threatened because it comes from a deep certainty of accomplishments that are not based on luck, or external things, but based on experience, life choices, and the building of our hearts and minds.

It is liberating not to have to defend our pride on a regular basis or have to prove to the world that we matter.  All the energy that goes into those thoughts and activities can be used for other things.

I see that in my own transformation and life journey.  I have gone from a woman who felt she needed to defend herself on a daily basis – because others didn’t “respect” me – to changing that aggressive energy and into productive energy.  I’m on the path of building a true sense of self-worth and in this new experience I don’t have to prove anything and I don’t have to defend myself.

Turning a sense of self-worth from being based solely on external accomplishments into valuing our character is a personal journey but there are a few basic thoughts we all have to entertain in this journey.

  • Thinking about our life’s journey, the decisions we have made and the way we have handled things.
  • Remembering we all have different lives, challenges, and so comparing ourselves to others is a waste of time.
  • Life is a personal experience.  It is about our growth and our sense of well-being.  What others think is not that important.
  • When all the layers are peeled back, what we all want is a true sense of well-being and that can only be accomplished by facing and embracing ourselves.
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