A Love Letter To My Husband – 2

August 14, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

I wrote this letter to my husband late last night.  All the emotions in the words came pouring out and I was reminded how complex we all are.

That I can miss my husband but have the love and respect for life to keep investing and looking forward to the future.  That I can love him with all my heart but be open to give and receive love.  There is no limitation in life or in feelings.  When we feel there is one, it is us building the wall.

My dear husband:

Tomorrow marks two years since your passing. Not a moment has gone since then that you have not graced my living.

I miss the man who knew who I was before I even had a glimpse myself.

My dear Chris where are you now?

The CDs in the CD player are still the same.  I remember your question from long ago; “How do you do it?”  I do it because I must.  Because of the fire.  That’s my answer my dear husband.

Still no one has loved me as you have.  And I have not loved as much as when I held you in my arms.

I miss desire and long for you.  My dear, dearest husband.

I listen to the notes and the words in the songs but it is your touch and laughter that I miss.

My knees bop up and down to the rhythm as if they could march away the sorrow of your loss.

My beautiful Chris.

I shall never take in a breath without your presence in it.  I am yours and you are mine for now and forever.

Your dearest wife,

Deborah

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2 Responses to “A Love Letter To My Husband – 2”
  1. oneleggedjo says:

    This is a beautiful tribute to Chris Deborah. You are lucky to have experienced such tremendous love. I realize it must make it all that much harder to lose. You are so lovely to share from your heart what so many would not have the courage to do. Your blogs remind me it is o.k. to be human and vulnerable. I was brainwashed early on to wear a stiff upper lip and not show any sadness, even in the face of tragic loss. Our society seems to reward this behavior as most people are so uncomfortable with adverse feelings. It is sad to me. We should be able to cry whenever we feel like it! Just think what a better world this would be.

    • Thank you. I think the more we pretend we are all happy and life is under control the more our lives crumble. So I’m crying, laughing, loving and screaming in public. Highly recommended.