Tools For A Life Well Lived
There are tools that are important for us to develop if we want to have a chance for a more fulfilling life. The list is independent of race, age, gender or socio-economic status.
1 – Our ability to let go – Living in the moment requires releasing control of any outcome. We are here in this moment and in this situation. Where the future goes it’s not so important. Where we are is.
“Life is a process of becoming. A combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” -Anais Nin
2 – Keeping our expectations in check - Having expectations on how things should be or how we should feel often robs us from actually appreciating or enjoying things as they are. Here’s a basic example of what I’m saying: If we hear a movie is GREAT from everyone one we know and all the reviews corroborate with our friends and family’ assessment when we finally get to see that particular film, we go in expecting something spectacular. Now if the movie doesn’t actually blow our socks off, we become disappointed and don’t get to enjoy a very good movie because we had high expectations.
That’s what we do in life. We often have specific expectations and anything even a hair below the mark, to the right or to the left, keeps us from enjoying the experience.
Anger always comes from frustrated expectations – Elliot Larson
3 – Silencing inner judgment - It chains us down and keeps us from feeling light and free. Life has many difficulties and obstacles and adding our inner chatter accomplishes nothing. Psychology refers to this type of self-criticism as neurosis. We don’t need it.
The greatest happiness of life it the conviction that we are loved – loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves. - Victor Marie Hugo
4 – Silencing harsh judgment of others – I think judging others is a way that our insecurities have come up with to keep us away from others and therefore “protected”. If we could see others mostly by their qualities and not short-comings we would be much more interested in sharing with them. One dimensionally labeling others keeps us all in our own cocoons.
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. – Wayne Dyer
5 – Letting the past go - Once something is done it is also finished. Living in the past keeps us from experiencing a present and creating a future.
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us – Helen Keller
And what we should all do is:
One should say before sleeping, “I have lived many lives. I have been a slave and a prince. Many a beloved has sat upon my knees and I have sat upon the knees of many beloved. Everything that has been shall be again.” W.B. Yeats.
Success is getting and achieving what you want. Happiness is wanting and being content with what you get. – Bernard Meltzer