Life = Love

September 11, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

Angie Rubin

I am on my way to Miami, Florida to work on a film.  I brought with me for the four and a half hours of flying, a memoir a woman who reads my posts sent me.  I’ve had the manuscript for a few weeks but knowing it was a story of loss, I was giving myself time to prepare to make the descent back into my own history which undoubtedly her account would take me to.

The woman’s husband was diagnosed with brain cancer after months of irrational behavior which had everyone thinking he was either on drugs, having an affair or a nervous breakdown.   As I read her painful and touching words, my hands slide down the ropes of my past.  I’m going down.

I put the pages on the empty seat next to me and think; all of us go through life loosing pieces of ourselves. It is as if we are all born with leprosy. Each new loss another part of us is left behind.

Pain is the great equalizer; when in it we are all the same.

Whose pain is greater?  That of a father who losses his son to a stray bullet in a gang infested asphalt jungle or that of a father who losses his son when he jumps in front of a bullet and saves a life? Or is it that of a father who watches his son takes his own life when the pain inside can only be silenced with the bang of a gun? Pain doesn’t make us unique it only turns us into the same.

As I think about pain the thought of my home which holds my dreams and that of my dogs, who run after a buried bone just because it’s fun, and I smile.  And I think about my friends and family and I smile some more.  They are all part of an acquired history.   It is their love that blankets me when a part of me is lost.  And it is in their love that I am special.

Having a membership card in the club of pain comes sooner or later to all of us but nurturing love send us soaring in blazing suits through this journey we call life.

The plane is almost landing and I must turn my computer off.  A childhood friend is waiting for me at the Miami airport.  I’m going to give him a hug and let his love sooth away the callous on my hands.

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