How To Find A Sense Of Well-Being

September 27, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

Angie Rubin

I woke up yesterday feeling a little frustrated about my life.  And then I did the worst thing I could have; I compared other people’s lives to mine.  Half-hour passed before the side of me – which is in transformation – was able to remind me that each life is unique and life’s journey is not a competition with others but it is the sculpting of us by us.

If we had real understanding and compassion for our struggles we would never put ourselves down.  If we could achieve a sense of internal well-being we would never care what others thought of us.  And how liberating wouldn’t that be?

To live accordingly to our own sense of right and wrong, success and failure, and not by what society or our circle of friends and family subscribe to.

In days like yesterday, when I’m feeling frail, the loss of my husband is even more present in my life.   I called a dear friend who is also a therapist and shared with her how much I missed him and how much it pained me to remember his struggle.  She said she found comfort in knowing he had lived his life and death on his own terms.  What she meant was my husband died at home, the way he wanted, with his believes intact.  He never said “why me” or thought less of himself.  He was a man who thought he deserved to live and fought with everything he had to succeed.

We waste a lot of time trying to show off or be like others when we could achieve more by turning some of this energy inwards.  Try for a moment to think of you as two people; one the “doer” and the other the “observer”.  Now listen to your “observer” tell the story of your “doer” as if it was telling the story of someone else.  The difficulties you have overcome, how much you have struggled and succeeded in changing, and the kindness you have shown in your life.  I’m sure if you can listen to your story without your baggage of guilt and blame, compassion and a new appreciation for who you are will be the result of this exercise.

What I’m sharing here is what I practice.  I intellectually know the path to a successful life lies in my ability to concentrate in who I am; in peeling the layers of insecurity, frustration, jealously and of values that aren’t necessarily mine.  I know if I can maintain a sense of well-being through embracing me, life will be more satisfying and profound.  In the end our minds, soul, intellect, psychology, heart, are the elements that produce our happiness and contentment.

I’m not there yet but I’m well on my way.

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