Finding Freedom By Letting Go

September 28, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

Yesterday I sent an email to a friend I had not spoken to in 7 years.  We used to be very good friends but parted ways when I decided to change how I experienced my life.  By no means am I blaming her for my past life or how I used to live it.  The separation happened because as I embarked on a path of a less self-destructive life, she did not want to come along.  She still believed living in chaos was the only way to exist and so I let the relationship go.

In my email I let my friend know even though we have not spoken in many years I only have love for her.  A few hours after I sent the email a thought hit me; what if she doesn’t respond? My pride was sticking its ugly head out in fear of rejection.  Now when I first sent the email, all I had in my heart was positive feelings but when the thought of rejection hit me, for a moment I regretted sending the email and felt stupid.

The experience made me think about pride. Not the good kind, such as empowering ourselves by accepting and being proud of who we are, but the bad kind where our ego is so frail that we think we must defend ourselves with all the pride we can muster.

In Greek mythology the myth of Sisyphus tells the story of pride and its consequences.

Sisyphus prided himself a clever man.  So much so he claimed he outwitted Zeus, the God figure of the ancients. He boasted his accomplishments with zest and so Zeus punished Sisyphus with the forced labor of rolling a rock up a hill, only to have it fall to the bottom over and over.  In other words; Sisyphus for eternity got to reach the top only to fall back down because of his pride.

Pride keeps us prisoners.  Through pride we lose the spontaneity to say and do the things we want in fear of the responses.  I won’t say “this” or do “that” because I might be rejected and my pride wont’ allow for that to happen.  But without pride we are free to be and freedom is what we all want.

I haven’t heard back from my old friend yet, but it doesn’t matter if I do or not.  The important thing was I did not stop myself from sharing a feeling and a thought I had in my heart even though I had second thoughts for a moment.

Not living by defending ourselves is a sign of a strong ego.

“It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.” – Gandhi

“To be humble to superiors is duty, to equals courtesy, to inferiors nobleness.” – Benjamin Franklin

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