Become Who You Truly Are
Can you truly answer “Who am I?” and “What do I want?” Or are the answers to these questions wrapped up in a self that is the result of a persona we have taken on?
To honestly answer these questions we first have to practice self-acceptance. We have to journey within and get to know our unique essence which is above and beyond our name, history, failures and successes.
At a young age we start to create a persona to survive our family and school dynamics. This persona is not actually who we are but who we think will get us loved and noticed.
I remember when I was nine years old and had to switch schools. The new school was socially very competitive. In the beginning it was a startling experience. But, I was determined to survive and thrive. My young and frail sense of self quickly learned who the leaders were and what would make them want to be my friend. Once I had that information I molded my behavior after it. I succeed in becoming a member of the “in” group but the price I ended up paying was the learned behavior/persona that 1 – I wasn’t enough, 2 – To be popular I needed to be someone else, 3 – I needed to do and to be something outside myself to feel important and worthy of attention.
These types of learned behaviors create personas which are made up of judgments of what we should do and what we deserve, but not of who we are.
In my case I became a perfectionist. I have lived most of my life under self-created pressure to be always right and good. Any behavior of mine which was less than perfect resulted in abuse and bashing by me towards me. I am now in the process of emotionally understanding I don’t need to be anything to be worthy of love.
If you are now thinking why is it so important to dig deep and embrace our true nature, the answer is without being ourselves we will live a life chasing after being beautiful enough, rich enough, intelligent enough, powerful enough without ever getting there. If our notion of who we are is disconnected from our true selves than we are condemning ourselves to a life of never ending chase.
Slow down. Take time off from “doing” and connect to what is really important to you. Meditate on your uniqueness and strengthen your belief in who you are.
If we are not ourselves we are nobody. But, if we are ourselves we are unique and enough.
“My definition of success is total self-acceptance.” Victor Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning