Are You Really Ready For Love?

December 9, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

I have a very close friend who is now 45 years-old, but has never lived with a partner or been married.  She always says she would love to be in a committed relationship and often asks me if I think that will happen to her.  My answer is: “I don’t know.”  That’s because I don’t have a crystal ball. But whenever we get into these conversations I try to point out that to truly love others we first have to connect with the love we have within.   We don’t create love and then use it on someone else.  We already have love. We just need to let it flow.

So many people say they would like to be in a loving relationship, but I wonder if that is really true.  Love means to know someone and to respect and accept who they are.  Love in the movies is always exciting.  It is full of adventures, romance, and even we there is drama it is usually followed by some ingenious, passionate make-up situation.  Love in the real world involves constant negotiating and sensitive administration of highs and lows.

If we truly want to be in a relationship – at least a healthy one – we should start by getting to know ourselves and living in accordance.  As we get to know ourselves and feelings being vulnerable becomes easier.  Because we know there is nothing to fear in sharing who we are.

We should appreciate life and the gifts we have today.  Thinking we can only find contentment if we are in a partnership, only keeps us away from being a whole person. All of us have things in our lives that if we allow, can provide much satisfaction; a fun day with friends, a good movie, book, park, beach, work, pets, family etc.  It’s all about being in the present moment.

So whenever I speak to my friend I remind her, a person who is well with herself/himself is more attractive and seductive than one who is always wishing life was different.

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked – Erich Segal

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