Experiencing Endless Love

December 17, 2010 by  
Filed under Featured

Candles

I have just read the below article in the Chicago Tribune.  It’s a story of love and courage of a 32 year old woman falling in love and marrying a 31 year old man suffering from a very aggressive cancer.

When Bahar Mallah met Nick Schmidt at a bar in Chicago, he told her he wasn’t drinking because he had cancer.  Instead of being thrown off she replied by asking him if that was his best line.  By staying there Bahar made the decision to live in the moment and see where it led.  Bahar and Nick fell in love and married.  And 51 days after their wedding he passed away. Bahar is in a lot of pain now.  She misses Nick. But, she is also quick to share she is okay with all the decisions she’s made.  She got to deeply experience love and to discover the door within her that was opened by meeting Nick will stay forever open.

When my husband was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of cancer, we had been in a relationship for two and a half years.  Before Chris could even start fighting his cancer he needed a transplant as the tumor had already ravaged his liver. I remember being in my pajamas sitting outside Chris’ hospital room when the realization of what our lives would be like, hit me.  I sobbed for our loss and I sobbed for the future.  I spent ten minutes thinking I should run as fast as I could and as far as I could.  But when I heard his voice calling me, I knew there was no other place I would rather be but by Chris’ side.

Two months later, Chris was able to get his transplant.  We were very excited and high on life.  We had fought and we had succeeded.  Two days after leaving the hospital, Chris asked me to marry him.  I said yes but when I went to call my family to share the news, I realized what I was saying yes to.  I was saying yes to living in hospitals, and a question mark for intimacy.   But again I looked at Chris and knew there was no other life I wanted to live but ours, even if it was short and difficult.  Chris died a week shy of our second year wedding anniversary.

The two and a half years from diagnosis to his passing were full of love.  And when Chris passed I was left with having experienced love I had never thought possible.   Never I regretted my decisions.

Love has the power to give meaning to pain.  Love has the power to give meaning to life.  I hope I’ll always have the courage to embrace love whoever short lived it is.  I hope the same for you as well.

———-

By Duaa Eldeib, Tribune reporter

When Nick Schmidt and Bahar Mallah were introduced, he told her he was sick.

At a bar after an Illini game on a chilly night in October 2008, she asked him why he wasn’t drinking. Cancer, he explained. That was typically when such conversations ended.

But Mallah stuck around long enough for him to ask whether he could buy her a drink instead…Continued

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Comments

3 Responses to “Experiencing Endless Love”
  1. Julie says:

    The pain of so much loss has definitely made me leery of romantic love, fairly closed off to it….but the article reminds me to have the courage to be open to it. Thank you.

    • I know after we get hurt we become fearful. But if we don’t fight to keep our hearts open we won’t have a chance to experience profound giving and sharing.

      • Bahar Mallah-Schmidt says:

        Your words are so true and become more so as time passes. Thank you for writing this. I am so grateful for who he has allowed/ enabled me to become. Love it.