What Do We Do With The Feeling Of Emptiness?
It’s raining cats and dogs here in Los Angeles. While driving home last night, I called a girlfriend in Brazil to keep me company as I drove through the flooded streets.
My friend has known me since I’m nine years old. The wonderful thing about long standing relationships – especially the ones you have since childhood – is that they know and have seen you through different stages of life. My friend and I have great intimacy and love for each other.
We started to talk about the empty “hole” people feel from time to time. Why do we sometimes feel blue or anxious or unhappy when nothing really has happened to warrant those feelings?
What is about the “hole” that doesn’t seem to have a direct connection to money, success, or power? We all know people that have happy marriages, success, health and still feel something is amiss.
Feeling a sense of contentment comes from within. Money, work, a social environment gives us a structure in which to conduct our lives. But well-being can only come from feeling at peace with ourselves. That means acting accordingly to our sense of moral and truth. It also means not being reactive to everyone and everything that happens in our lives. It means staying the course.
I recently had a great disappointment in a close relationship. I had not stood up for myself a few years back when a situation came up. The other person, in their tunnel vision, did not see me and my rights. And so I re-created the situation again hoping for a different outcome. The result was the same except that this time I stood up for my self. At the end of the exchange I was left with a choice; to carry on with anger or to understand the limitations of the person I was dealing with. As I know in my quest to increase my personal feeling of well-being, there is no room for anger, I decided to let it go. I can only change myself and not others. That’s what I mean about being reactive. It means understanding other people’s limitations and choosing not to try to prove their errors or carrying on in anger but mostly it means not to let their issues affect our well-being.
The healthier we get, the less time we have to be angry. The healthier we get the more at peace we become. The healthier we get, the more we understand that ultimate contentment lays in knowing ourselves, living accordingly, appreciating what we have, being in the moment and loving as much as we can.