Learning About Forgiveness To Better Our Lives
Reading the Huffington Post today I came across the below post on forgiveness. As I had written about it a couple of days ago, I thought maybe the “universe” was telling me I still had much to think and write about the subject.
Forgiving others is important because the anger we carry within towards others affects us in a negative way more than anybody else. So we were not only wronged but now we are compounding the result but adding the toxic feeling of anger to our psyche.
I believe one of the reasons we stay stuck in anger, is our pride. When we are wronged we think: how could they have done that to ME? Followed by thoughts of; I didn’t deserve it, I’m such a giving person, I have done so much for him/her. What we need to remember when these thoughts are coming up, is that the hurtful action had much more to do with the perpetrator than with us. If someone has stabbed you in the back, it is not a reflection on who you are but it is a reflection on who the other person is and their emotional state.
We also have to remember that everyone has their own emotional limitation. People, who invest time and energy into getting to know themselves, have less of a limitation simply because we are willing to look at our short-comings.
Forgiving others doesn’t mean blessing their actions. It means making the decision that we don’t want to be victimized a second time.
Next time you feel wronged acknowledge the feeling and try to express it to the person who has hurt you. If that is possible and a good result can come from sharing how you feel, then forgiveness can follow through. But if the other person is not open to hear or they can’t deal with the truth, that’s okay. Remember the process is about you. Realize you can’t change the other person so all that’s left for you is to let your anger go. It takes a strong person to forgive.
The Power of Releasing Resentment: A Holiday Gift To Yourself And Others
by Judith Orloff MD