Can’t Find Love? Here’s Why
Just found the below post on Huffington Post. I like its direct approach as to why most of us don’t seem to be lucky in love. Marnie, the writer, points the finger back at us. She poses the question; how can we find fulfilling love if we start of from a place of fantasy and personal confusion? And I couldn’t agree more.
How can we have a satisfying relationship if we pick partners that will only reenact time and again our own neurosis? That is not to say that we have to be “perfect” to find a partner and share a healthy and fulfilling relationship. But there are a few musts:
- We must know enough about ourselves so that we don’t go out casting men or women to play parts in plays we have written for ourselves. For example: If we think we are not lovable we cast men and women as partners that are not capable of loving and committing so that we can prove our point. When we decide we are worthy of love as much as anybody else, we will no longer be interested in others that don’t have the capacity to love.
- We must feel whole to build a healthy relationship. If we believe we need to be with a man or a woman to have a fulfilling life, we will most often be attracted to people that are authoritarian, and controlling. Those are the types of people that cast themselves in the role of savior. The bottom line is: nobody saves anybody. We only come together to add to each other’s lives.
- We must concentrate in the present. Where a relationship will go in the future, is where it will go. Wondering and worrying about it won’t change anything. All it will do is add unnecessary stress.
- We must be open to give and receive love.
The must list is something we can work on ourselves on a daily basis and when time is right, and we meet a possible good partner we will be ready to love and built something worth experiencing.
Please read on…
By Marnie Nir
Coach, The Handel Group
Are you one of the millions of Americans out there searching for love but can’t find it? Are you frustrated and annoyed with the dating scene? Is your favorite line, “All the good ones are taken”? Most single people are unaware that their inability to find love has nothing to do with a dearth of potential partners, but with their inability to look at themselves.
You are the problem. Yes, you…Continued