Beyond Feelings Of Wrongdoing And Rightdoing

February 26, 2011 by  
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Photo by Angie Rubin

The great poet and theologian Rumi, said “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”

That’s the gist of Anne Naylor’s post.  To find ourselves at an evolutionary point where feelings are neither good nor bad; they just are.

Having feelings and emotions is part of being human.  Being dominated and controlled by them is neurosis.  We cannot stop feeling and we cannot become different people.  But we can allow the emotions and thoughts to exist without bowing down to them.

If we don’t underline and hang on to the negative emotions we actually have the possibility to turn pain and discomfort into something more fulfilling.  Grief, the ultimately negative experience, if allowed to exist can teach us about empathy, compassion and letting go.

When I lost my husband I kept thinking that pain and loss could not be all that was left of him.  As I allowed my grief all the space it needed without clamming to it and berating myself, I found the wisdom of acceptance.

Loving acceptance of our vulnerability and insecurities bring us emotional freedom.  And with that compassion for others.

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Can We Be Emotionally Free?

By Anne Naylor

What would life be like without emotional burdens like anxiety, depression, guilt, rage, self-doubt and shame? What does it mean to be “emotionally free”? Is it possible? Is it even desirable?

Part of the tool kit with which we human beings are born are our emotions. They must serve a purpose, or we would not have them. So far, so obvious. What would life be like without love, passion, enthusiasm, joy, excitement, exuberance, compassion, empathy or frustration, anger, resentment, envy, jealousy, greed and fear? Positive emotions serve to move us forward and expand our horizons. Negative emotions can trap us in a miserable downward spiral of hopelessness and despair…Continued

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Can We Change?

February 24, 2011 by  
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For the last couple of weeks the topic “we are who we are” has been very much on my mind.  Using myself as the basis for my thinking I wondered how many of the changes that have taken place in my process and behavior belong to age and how many to an investment in my own development.  Followed by the question am I still the same girl who grew up in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil just older and wiser?

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A Year Of Good Deeds

February 21, 2011 by  
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My friend Claire Pascal started a blog called A Year Of Good Deeds.

Claire is a very special woman.  She’s a writer and a teacher.

When 9/11 happened it touched her so profoundly she went to Yale to study theology. She needed a different kind of knowledge to understand or at least to cope better with devastation.

My friend Claire looks at life and people with profound respect and understanding.  She’s kind to others as well and to herself.  She’s fallen many times without ever losing her heart.  And for that she has my admiration. It is not easy to fall, truly see oneself down, get up and still be opened to the world.

As Claire writes about herself she lets us in her humanity and we are all better off for that.

Below is Claire’s statement about the birth of her blog.

A HAPPIER LIFE

So my life fell apart. I couldn’t deny my alcoholism anymore, a dear friend died, and then my marriage tore apart–wrenching and painful. To recover from the wreck I’ve become, I’m conducting an experiment: I will do one good deed a day. I’m hoping this helps me peek out from my miserable self-absorption and perhaps do a tiny bit of good for the world. Will this make me or anyone else happier?

A THOUSAND CONNECTIONS

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

I just got back from an AA meeting and I stand corrected about the saying: “Give 100% expecting nothing back.”  Here’s the more accurate version:  “Give 100% because it’s free and fun expecting nothing back not even a thank you.”  A tougher version.  Now I have to have fun while I’m giving without expecting a reward.

Good deeds today:  Flowers for my AA sponsor.  A thank you note to the woman guard at the entrance of my condo complex.  She’s the only female guard and she always waves and smiles at me when I come home late at night from work, which is often…Continued

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The Importance Of A Home

February 20, 2011 by  
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I’m sitting outside in my yard drinking a cup of coffee.  I look at the trees and see them dancing to the tune of a Sunday breeze. The sun, not wanting to impose, caresses the pink flowers standing guard behind my Buddha fountain. It is a lovely crisp day.

I always refer to my house as my “Tara”.  In the classic film “Gone With The Wind” Scarlett O’Hara drew her strength from her plantation, Tara.  I’m sure, as it is with me, it wasn’t the structure of the house or its riches that made Scarlett endure anything and everything to save her house.  It was, as it is with me, because her house was her home.

A home can be a studio apartment or a mansion.

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Learning To Lose Control

February 18, 2011 by  
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I have always had issues with control.  I have a deep seeded belief that 1 – I’m the only one that can really take care of everything and 2 – When things happen without my “permission” it makes me feel disoriented.  As neither one of these beliefs are true and/or sustainable, I’ve had to work on myself.

I’m the only one that can take care of everything is a God like complex which doesn’t give much trust to others and overwhelms the self.  The way I have found to deal with this is to let go.  I do what I can and the rest I let go.  And if things don’t turn out quite the way I expected, I deal with that once it comes to pass.  I literally say to myself: “Let go”.  And then I ask: “What’s the worst thing that could happen?”  And then I finally end with: “Taking care of everything all the time is an impossible and exhausting way to live.  Truly you don’t want to live like that.”  After these three questions and statements, I’m ready to let go followed by a long deep breath.

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Using Desire As Fuel To Life

February 16, 2011 by  
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Read the below post by Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche on the Huffington Post today and wanted to share.

Although having a name that is difficult for most of us civilians to pronounce, the wisdom of his words are nothing but fully inclusive.

In his post Dzogchen discusses the nature of desire; the fuel for every human action.  We desire a good meal, relationship, comfort, pleasure, and all is good.  The difficulties only arise when those desires turn from fuel to obsession.  Wanting to have a better job to feel more engaged is one type of desire.  Wanting a better job just because we want to show how smart, how superior we are, is empty.

Dzogchen writes: “Our desire may be to help others, to create something of transcendent beauty, or to realize union with God. It may simply be to find a perfect love in our life.

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Eight Love Proverbs From Around The World

February 14, 2011 by  
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In love beggar and king are equal.
- Indian Proverb

He who treads the path of love walks a thousand meters as if it were only one.
- Japanese Proverb

It is love that makes the impossible possible.
- Indian Proverb

Where there is love there is no darkness.
- Burundi Proverb

Love understands all languages.
- Romanian Proverb

Perfect love cannot be without equality.
- Scottish Proverb

“Food offered without affection is like food offered to the dead.”

-  Hindu Proverb

“To understand your parents’ love you must raise children yourself.”

- Chinese Proverb

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The Anatomy Of Love

February 12, 2011 by  
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As we approach Valentine’s Day the world – at least the countries that commemorate the cupid’s day – gets divided into sections; people that are enthusiastically planning and shopping for a grand day , and others who hope this day goes by as quickly as possible.

I talk a lot about love because I truly believe connecting to this powerful energy source is the ultimate quest to living a life of wisdom and contentment.  But unlike many, I don’t equate love with just romantic love.  I actually think that many people who believe they have found love when they are in a relationship are actually unaware of what love really is and its life changing power.

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Being In A State Of Love

February 9, 2011 by  
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We often cheat ourselves of a quality of life we could all have if only we saw love for what it actually is; a state of being.

Instead we walk around shielding ourselves from any possibility of experiencing love as if sharing love with a friend or a stranger would deplete our finite love arsenal. We erroneously believe love is to be saved until we find that one person who will be the recipient of it.

Love is a quality of life. It is not a narrow emotion which comes into existence when we think we have found a partner. So we live our lives with closed hearts without truly giving or receiving.

It’s sad how we invest so much of our energies looking for love and acceptance without realizing that if we are not willing to commit to open our hearts, we will never find that which we seek.

Without wanting to be cliché, love is all around us.  But to experience it we need to be present and not afraid to “expose” ourselves.

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10 Life Lessons We Should Unlearn

February 7, 2011 by  
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Below is a very good post from O Magazine.  It talks about 10 misconceptions about life that causes us pain and turmoil.  But, the greatest message is; we all march to the beat of our own drums.  No matter how hard we try to be and to live like everyone else, we fail.  And the reason is, we are all unique.  We are the sum of our own experiences, and the way we process them.  Yes, we all want to be loved and to love but how we go about it is our own unique path.  The same goes for being safe.  So why do we put ourselves at the mercy of a set of life rules created by our society when we know they don’t apply?

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