Learning To Lose Control
I have always had issues with control. I have a deep seeded belief that 1 – I’m the only one that can really take care of everything and 2 – When things happen without my “permission” it makes me feel disoriented. As neither one of these beliefs are true and/or sustainable, I’ve had to work on myself.
I’m the only one that can take care of everything is a God like complex which doesn’t give much trust to others and overwhelms the self. The way I have found to deal with this is to let go. I do what I can and the rest I let go. And if things don’t turn out quite the way I expected, I deal with that once it comes to pass. I literally say to myself: “Let go”. And then I ask: “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” And then I finally end with: “Taking care of everything all the time is an impossible and exhausting way to live. Truly you don’t want to live like that.” After these three questions and statements, I’m ready to let go followed by a long deep breath.
What about when things I have no control over happen? What about when others receive praise they don’t deserve? What about when others don’t see or don’t know the reality? I again tell myself to let go. But this let go has a different quality. This particular let go reminds me I don’t have the time or the energy to spend in paying attention or controlling things I have no direct say. Or are not that important. I bring my sense of loss of control back to my own life. Back to where my energy can be put to better use.
So I’m getting better at letting go. I’m learning not to let things bother me so much. And I’m reminding myself constantly that life is ever changing and who has the time to worry about everything or to try to take stock?