Expectation; Often A Tough Pill To Swallow

March 22, 2011 by  
Filed under Blog

Expectations.  Even the word has too many letters.

We wish for “things”, and in the time between dreaming about them and having them happen, we let our emotions make those “things” become the answer to all our ailments.  So unfortunately when those “things” finally happen – or some form of it– our expectations are too out of touch with reality. Let me give you an example:  A woman wishes for a relationship.  While she waits for a man to come into her life she day-dreams about how this man will sweep her off her feet and she will live happily ever after.  The woman meets a man.  Now she has dreamed all kinds of scenarios with her man, and when the reality doesn’t follow along with her dreamed up situations; she feels let down.  Another example would be a man dreaming all the things he will do and all the things he will feel when he gets his dream job.  But, when he finally gets the job he had been pining away, he feels let down.  The reality does not correspond to his expectations.

There is also the type of expectation that comes from having done something for someone and expecting something back.  For this type of expectation there is a simple cure: do things because you want and be content with the feeling that brings you.

I know, I’m not saying anything new.  We all know having expectations that are out of whack with reality is a recipe for disappointments.   But day-dreaming is so much fun – my inner voice yells out.  So what to do?

When you find yourself in a new relationship, job, or any other situation you have spent a lot of your time dreaming about, realize you are now in a new phase.  Let go of the dream and live in the moment.  Do not compare or fall back into your idealized dream.  Realize the dream was there to functions as gas, to keep you going.  Now it’s time to be surprised by what you have not dreamed about.  Let the situation play out naturally without any preconceived ideas, and you will be surprised how life is often more clever and profound than anything you could have dreamed up.

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