Want A Successful Relationship? Start With Yourself
Found the below interesting article from a couple of days ago in the Huffington Post.
Lisa Firestone, a psychology expert on relationships, discusses how without personal development we keep reenacting our family relationships with our partners. Combine with that our innate fear of intimacy – which keeps us from fully committing – and the odds aren’t great for a successful relationship.
I’ve written plenty about this subject because I know it all too well. I’ve been married twice and in between had many unhealthy experiences.
My first marriage – when I was 20 years old – was very abusive and troubled. When I finally pulled myself out of it, I was only able to do it physically, and so continued on the same pattern of ill relationships.
It took me ten years to realize that the problem had to also reside in me. With billions of people in the world, I was always ending up with partners that truly didn’t respect or care about me?
When I started to change my attitude, I met my second husband, who was a truly loving man. Most importantly he loved me as I was. And I loved him as he was.
In the five years I had with my second husband before his passing, I was truly aware of the gift we were for each other, and worked hard not to bring out the old patterns. I accepted him as he was and mostly I realized his existence was not to make me whole, but to support me on my journey to make my own self whole.
If you truly want to be in a loving and positive relationship, you must start by realizing no one completes us. It’s too much to ask out of a relationship. Instead we should be asking for a partner who accepts our struggles so together we can create a foundation for growth and contentment.
A healthy relationship with our own selves is a requirement for a satisfying relationship with others. So start the transformation with yourself and be invigorated by how the world around you will change.
Please read on …
The Real Reason You’re Not Married (And What to Do About It)
By Lisa Firestone
Whether it’s those lurking peak wedding months or the daily talk of royal nuptials, marriage is a subject we’re hearing a lot about lately. Feelings about this trend seem to range from wild enthusiasm to mild resentment. Forgetting for a minute the adversity surrounding the institution of marriage and setting all ceremony aside, stripped down to its barest of bones, marriage is really just a long-term commitment to a serious intimate relationship…Continued