Finding Wisdom to Change in The Serenity Prayer
June 30, 2011 by Deborah Calla
Filed under Blog
Angie Rubin's Photo
Today I am thinking of Reinhold Niebuhr’s “Serenity Prayer”. It is so brilliant. It contains the formula for living a peaceful, content, and ever enlarging life. We do not control many of the things that come our way. Good or bad. We don’t control the time they happen in. But the thing we do control is acceptance without pity or anger towards ourselves and others.
The prayer tells us to accept with serenity the thing we cannot change. In my case now, I can’t change my father being in the hospital for a month fighting for his life. I can only offer love and support and know whatever happens, is part of living. So as I have done before I will accept and live the experience and turn it part of my life’s landscape and wisdom.
Learning To Love In A Different Way
June 27, 2011 by Deborah Calla
Filed under Featured
Just came across the below post, and wanted to share. The writer, Martha Beck, states that waiting for a specific outcome from a person, ends any possibility of unconditional love. The reason being we are not loving them as whom they are, but as how we would like them to be.
We all have one time or another, issues with partners, family members, friends or work associates. But some of us have the chronic issue filled relationships; the ones we spend a lifetime trying to get it right, but never quite get there.
Are You Living In Fear?
June 21, 2011 by Deborah Calla
Filed under Blog
Much has happened lately that has kept me away from writing my blogs. A couple of weeks ago my 86 year old dad contracted a very serious pneumonia. It was touch and go there for a while. It was stressful, painful and transformative.
First, let me just say that as of a couple of days ago, he is stable. Yesterday he sat up for the first time in three weeks and today he has made his first sounds.
While at his age, contemplating the end of a relationship is not out of the ordinary, when the situation does present itself it brings about much fear, acceptance and contemplation.
Finding Calm In Chaos
June 14, 2011 by Deborah Calla
Filed under Blog
There is much to be learned in the time of crisis. What is important and what isn’t. What we can do with and what we can co without. Finding serenity in chaos. Finding love for others and oneself.
My dad has been in the ICU for the past two weeks. While he’s doing a little bit better, the outcome is still uncertain.
But wait only a couple of weeks ago I was reflecting in what a good time this is for me personally and professionally. After mourning the passing of my husband for the past two and a half years, I have now started to feel strong and happiness has come back to grace my heart. And professionally, this too is a good time.
When my dad first got sick, I got angry. Why now? Haven’t I gone through enough? Why now that I’m feeling my life is finally moving forward? I had thoughts like: “All I want is to be left alone and quiet for a little while and just live my life.”
Staying True To Ourselves In Time Of Crisis
June 9, 2011 by Deborah Calla
Filed under Blog
It is hard to stay centered and cognizant when we are travelling through chaos. It is easy to get affected by other people’s emotional and psychological behaviors. We get observed and judged. And if we lose our center we become part of the chaos.
My father is sick in the hospital. He’s 86 years old, so it is hard to tell how this is going to turn out. Emotions are running high for everyone involved including me. So to support others and myself, I have to fight to take care of my well-being and stay grounded. I have to be able to access and rely on my truth in every decision I take.
In the past I have acted impulsively, emotional and without setting limits to what was asked of me but others and myself included.
As I have gone through quite a few crises in my life, I’ve developed a short list of things to keep in mind not to drown when intense emotions are flying about. They are:
The Different Kinds Of Love
June 6, 2011 by Deborah Calla
Filed under Blog
Wow. So much has happened in the last few days. Bear with me for a moment while I make my way to the point I want to make.
Last Tuesday my dad – who is 86 years old and lives in Brazil – was rushed to the hospital with a bad cough. While most of us would wait out a bad cough before flying to the hospital, my dad has 16 stents, a pacemaker, and has had a triple bypass. He might actually be the man with the most number of stents of any heart in the world. So a heavy cough puts a lot of strain in his heart.
Can You Afford To Be Vulnerable?
June 2, 2011 by Deborah Calla
Filed under Blog
My father is in the hospital. He’s 86 years old. But this post is not about his health issues but about the changes that I have noticed in my emotional response.
Before my husband passed away, I wore a thick protection around my heart. By no means I was cold, but I behaved tough and decisive. The truth is I had so much love in me that I was afraid to feel it all. I was afraid of what it would do to me. So I took on a posture; life is tough and I am tough.
Now there is a great difference between being tough and being strong. Tough as mentioned before is a posture. Strength is the result of lessons learned and wisdom acquired.
