Finding Calm In Chaos

June 14, 2011 by  
Filed under Blog

There is much to be learned in the time of crisis.  What is important and what isn’t.  What we can do with and what we can co without.  Finding serenity in chaos. Finding love for others and oneself.

My dad has been in the ICU for the past two weeks.  While he’s doing a little bit better, the outcome is still uncertain.

But wait only a couple of weeks ago I was reflecting in what a good time this is for me personally and professionally.  After mourning the passing of my husband for the past two and a half years, I have now started to feel strong and happiness has come back to grace my heart. And professionally, this too is a good time.

When my dad first got sick, I got angry.  Why now? Haven’t I gone through enough? Why now that I’m feeling my life is finally moving forward? I had thoughts like: “All I want is to be left alone and quiet for a little while and just live my life.”

But life is not like that. Life has its own rhythm and holds no grudges and master plans.  Life is just life. So rather than kick and scream, I have embraced the chaos.  I got on a plane and came to Brazil.  And now I get to hold my father’s hand, and in return I get to see in his eyes how much he loves me.  How much I matter to him.

I have not given up on my life for his illness. His illness is part of my life. So I reach within and find the strength and the calm to balance out my opportunities and my family.

My life didn’t fall apart because of my dad’s sickness. I’m accepting our experience and I release any stress that would keep us stuck.  Happiness still resides in my heart even though I now reside in chaos.

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