You Must Change Your Life
July 29, 2011 by Deborah Calla
Filed under Blog
I’m reading a book by May Sarton; “Journal of a Solitude.” In it, besides discussing her day to day, she talks about her observations on self-discovery, wisdom and love. There are many passages I want to share. Below is the first one:
“At any age we grow by the enlarging of consciousness, by learning a new language, or a new art or craft (gardening?) that implies an new way of looking at the universe. Love is one of the great enlargers of the person because it requires us to “take in” the stranger and to understand him, and to exercise restraint and tolerance as well as imagination to make the relationship work. If love includes passion, it is more explosive and dangerous and forces us to go deeper.“ – May Sarton
“Here there is nothing that does not see you. You must change your life.” – Rilke
Learning To Stand And Speak Up For Ourselves
July 26, 2011 by Deborah Calla
Filed under Featured
I like the blog posted below. It’s simple and to the point, and addresses a very difficult and life changing issue; speaking up for oneself. Why is it difficult? Because it also means taking care of ourselves.
Many of us – especially if you are like me; understanding and non-confrontational – think that in order to keep the peace in relationships, we are better off not saying anything and digesting the situation ourselves rather than speaking up. While it is true that we should pick our fights, not saying to others how we feel about the way we are being treated and spoken to will only lead to bad relationships and resentment. It is also not true that issues that bother us can be swept under the rug without consequences. And it is not true it will benefit a relationship — quite the contrary.
When we don’t speak up for ourselves (read: stand-up for ourselves) the message we are sending to our psyche is, we don’t have rights. And soon enough we will believe that to be true.
Now think about an alternative; letting others know when situations that make us uncomfortable occur, that we would appreciate being talked to in a different fashion. Imagine stating that with calm and without resentment. And even if the other person can’t hear it, our psyche will hear us and think: yes, I too have rights.
Now how do we break the habit of not speaking up?
1 – First by realizing by not speaking up for ourselves, we are actually creating resentment which will damage how you feel about the other person.
2 – Realizing that by not speaking up we are not giving the person and the situation the possibility of being different.
3 – Taking a deep breath and speaking from the heart.
4 – Knowing whatever the results are, we are changing the way we see and deal with our own selves.
Please read on.
Why Don’t You Speak Up for Yourself?
By Margaret Paul, PH.D.
Do you have problems speaking up for yourself when others are being uncaring?
My counseling clients often complain to me about interactions they had with a partner, friend, parents or co-worker. When I asked the question, “Why didn’t you speak up for yourself?” here are the most common answers I receive: …Continued
From Catastrophe To Blessing
July 26, 2011 by Deborah Calla
Filed under Inspiring People
Whenever something really bad happens to us, we ask ourselves, “Maybe things happen for a reason?” That seems to be the first thing we want to believe, hoping there is something good to come of a bad situation. Rarely do we say to ourselves, “We’ve been blessed.”…Continued
Believing In Miracles
July 25, 2011 by Deborah Calla
Filed under Inspiring People
A homeless man sees his music become a hit on ITunes.
Selfless Act Lives On
July 25, 2011 by Deborah Calla
Filed under Inspiring People
For her 9th birthday last month, Rachel Beckwith told people that instead of giving her presents, they should donate to a charity providing clean water to families in developing nations.
Life Lessons With Tim Robbins
July 23, 2011 by Deborah Calla
Filed under Blog
Yesterday, I went to see Tim Robbins, the actor, sing with his band. I was mildly interested in seeing his act – although Tim Robbins is a great actor – but much more excited about seeing the friend who was taking me and who knew him from when they were both students at UCLA.
When I first saw Tim, I was sitting at the bar before the show started, with my friend when he came by to say hello. As I still can’t help myself from being judgmental, I thought to myself; wow he has aged.
Tim had a great time singing. You could tell this was a guy who had found a different outlet for his talents. And he sang with his brother, sister, and the posters of his recently deceased parents. He made a show for himself maybe even more than to an audience.
Is The Glass Half Full Or Half Empty? Your Choice
July 21, 2011 by Deborah Calla
Filed under Blog
I think one of the wisest sayings is: “You can look at a glass and see it half empty or half full.” So much of our contentment comes from how we see and experience things. But, having all that power most of us will choose to look at the glass half empty and in those occasions when we see it half full, we will move on too quickly so we can start worrying about what isn’t right. There is no way to have an enjoyable life living in this manner.
I am one who has spent most of my adult life with my thinking in the future on the things I wished for and didn’t have. So many wonderful things happened during those years without me truly giving them the time to fully enjoy what had come to me as a result of either my own effort or of life’s mysteries.
Bride-to-be Looks Beyond Life-Changing Accident
July 20, 2011 by Deborah Calla
Filed under Inspiring People
(CNN) — Fourteen months after she was left paralyzed by a pool mishap at her bachelorette party, Rachelle Friedman is having the wedding of her dreams Friday — and then some.
Joining Friedman and fiance Chris Chapman will be between 100 and 120 family members and their closest friends, witnesses to the couple’s can-do spirit.
“It just feels like a love story to people,” said Rachelle’s mother, Carol. “They are really great together.”…Continued
Learning To Stop Blaming Ourselves
July 19, 2011 by Deborah Calla
Filed under Featured
Something quite exciting has taken place in my psyche. I have finally stopped blaming myself for everything. Now, I’ve been working on my inner-voice – which was always so ready and willing to assign blame to me; its own host – for a long time. But only now I can say I have succeeded not in stopping the voice, but in stopping the acceptance of the blame. Let me be clear; I still hear the voice that wants to convince me that all bad things happen because of something I did or didn’t do. But here is the change; it doesn’t affect me anymore. And it doesn’t because I answer back by saying: “I’m not going to dwell in blame assigning because it serves no purpose. Whatever happened has already happened.
Appreciating Who We Are And What We Have
July 16, 2011 by Deborah Calla
Filed under Blog
One of the great stumbling blocks for being content right now is our constant need to wish we were someplace else or that our lives were different. How many of us have said or thought: “I’m going to be happy when I get XYZ” or “I’m holding off experiencing XXX for when I have XYZ.” Here’s a news flash: we may never get or have XYZ or at least in the manner we dream about. So does that mean we give up on being content? Absolutely not; we give up in not living our lives today for a future which may or may never happen.
