Taking Steps To Reconnecting With What is Important
When we are kids we do what we think it’s right. We cry when we are upset, we laugh when we find something funny. We don’t judge our feelings and reactions. But at some point in our development we start to listen to what others think right or wrong, and so disassociation and confusion start to take place. We stop trusting our inner-voice which is our own compass that tells us what our truth is.
As adults we must reconnect with what is truly meaningful to us. Unfortunately that sometimes can be tough because we have learned to trust others more than ourselves, or we accommodate their needs more than our own, or we are so disconnected we don’t know how we truly feel.
When we start to feel our basic feelings are truly being trampled is time to change. Now change is scary and uncomfortable. So how do we get through it? Here is what I do:
- I take time figuring out what values are mine and what values I have adopted by societal or familiar pressures. I start with those which are giving me the greater anxiety and pain.
- I start implement what I’ve decided on changing a bit at a time. I remind myself meaningful changes take time.
- I don’t chastise myself if I take one step backwards.
- When I’m truly uncomfortable – because I’m responding to a situation in a different way – I think how I would feel if I reverted to my old response. Once I investigate that possibility, I know I have to go through the momentary anxiety rather than returning to my old behavior.
- I remind myself for every change to take place, one need to go through difficult times. But once we get through we gain clarity and strength.
- I take many deep breaths.
Every one of us has the right to live our lives according to our own sense of value. It takes time and discipline, but the changes are well worth the effort as peace and balance are the final results.