Learning To Stop Blaming Ourselves

Something quite exciting has taken place in my psyche.  I have finally stopped blaming myself for everything.  Now, I’ve been working on my inner-voice – which was always so ready and willing to assign blame to me; its own host – for a long time.  But only now I can say I have succeeded not in stopping the voice, but in stopping the acceptance of the blame.  Let me be clear; I still hear the voice that wants to convince me that all bad things happen because of something I did or didn’t do.  But here is the change; it doesn’t affect me anymore.  And it doesn’t because I answer back by saying: “I’m not going to dwell in blame assigning because it serves no purpose.  Whatever happened has already happened.

And assigning or taking on blame doesn’t help the past.  Now let’s get down to what can really be productive.  What can I do to improve the situation?”  It is that simple.  It doesn’t matter who is to blame. No point in spending even a second thinking about it.

By leaving blame outside of my life, I am able to have a healthier reaction to things and to roll with the punches.

If you are always feeling responsible for everything then you too are a prime candidate to rewiring your thinking.  Tell yourself you don’t want to waste time assigning blame.  Tell yourself, you want to be pro-active and find out how you can be of help in changing things.

The below post is related to assigning blame.  It talks about becoming a recovering over thinker; a cousin of blame assigning.  Take from the blog what is meaningful to you and leave the rest on the screen.  Please read on.

My Meditative Memoir

By Gabrielle Bernstein

My name is Gabrielle, and I’m a recovering over-thinker.

“Recovering” is the operative word. For the past 15 years, I’ve worked hard to overcome my addiction to over-thinking.

I was 16 when I realized I was addicted to my thoughts. These thoughts were merely fearful illusions I’d created based on my past experiences and my uncertainty about the future. I was totally consumed by my thoughts, and they often manifested in the form of funky behavior. For instance, I’d control, manipulate and obsess over all situations and outcomes. I was in a perpetual state of fear, which affected every area of my life…Continued