Transforming Through Pain

August 6, 2011 by  
Filed under Featured

“Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.” – Stephen Vincent Benet

I had a conversation with a friend a few days ago, about turning pain into self-knowledge.  My friend was having trouble understanding how hurting could have any positive aspect such as wisdom.  I told her by embracing with awareness that which is painful we allow suffering to have a transformational quality.

Recently, my father came very close to dying.  As I now am a widow, the possibility of losing my father took on an added layer to my possible loss.  But, instead of dulling my pain, every night after making sure my mom was okay, I would spend time with myself and let the full impact of what was happening take hold of me.  It was not easy to feel the full force of loss one more time.  But, by doing so I was able to understand that loss is a part of life as much as happiness is.  I was reminded in a deep level that in the human journey, experiences – good or bad – is what creates wisdom and compassion in every one of us.  There is great humility in acceptance, and when we do so, we transform.

Lastly, by avoiding feeling pain, we also have to numb ourselves to every other experience. In the end it is not a good trade off.

Please read the article below on the same subject.

Avoiding Your Pain Cuts Off Your Passion

By Margaret Paul Ph. D.

We all learned many ways of avoiding our pain when we were growing up because we could not handle feeling it when we were little. Now, as adults, most people continue to protect in the ways they learned, not knowing that they are now capable of managing their pain and moving back into their joy.

There are two kinds of painful feelings:

  • The core painful feelings — loneliness, heartbreak, sadness, grief, sorrow and helplessness over others — comes from events or others’ unloving or disconnected behavior toward themselves or us…Continued
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  • Winsor Pilates

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