I have great capacity for forgiveness. And so I’ve had numerous partners and friends tell me I’m wrong when I forgive. I’m told I act like that because I don’t have enough self-respect. As I result I have tried holding people accountable for what they have done and the consequences, but felt unhappy. Recently I’ve figured out why. I realized that it is okay to hold people accountable for what they do, but it is also okay to forgive. But most important; it is also okay to hold people accountable if we are coming from a place of love and not hatred.
It’s interesting how we get the true meaning of strength and self-respect mixed-up. We have bought into the folklore that if we let others “have it” then we are strong. I now believe that is a misnomer. We are strong when we don’t need to show or prove anything to anyone.
Stating how we feel from a place of love, takes a lot more courage than yelling. Stating how we feel with calmness makes us vulnerable. It makes us human. But most important if we come from love we are actually trying to be heard and to listen. And we are trying to mend not destroy. Even if people move in their own separate ways by coming from a place of calm the healing process will have room to exist and thrive.
Living in love and forgiveness is our way to happiness and contentment. There cannot be happiness where there is resentment.
We are beings of communities. We must relate. We must coexist. We must learn to forgive. In forgiveness we find our own freedom.
“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is strong than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” – Catherine Ponder