Oscar Pistorius: The bullet in the chamber

Be inspired by this man’s resolution to live and be what he chooses.

How To Find Your True Voice

I just came across the below post and wanted to share with you.  In the article Martha Beck talks about the inner struggle between the “social, logical, status quo” voice and the “liberating, innovative, spontaneous” voice.  We all have at least those two voices.

The first voice we ever heard is the creative and innovative voice.  That voice is uniquely ours.  It is our own way of being and interpreting the world.  Sometimes this voice jives with society and sometimes it doesn’t.  But it is uniquely ours and it doesn’t care about being accepted.  Its mission is our contentment and happiness.

The second voice – logical – we start acquiring as we grow. It is the voice we internalize from peers, teachers, parents, and relationships.  It is the voice of our society.  This voice is more concerned in fitting in and doing things by the book.  Because most people listen mostly to this kind of voice we feel the pressure to join in and in the end we feel safe.  The feeling of safety – even though when put to test proves not to be true – comes from us acting and being a member of a large group that obey and live by the same rules.

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Energize Your Life

What are your dreams? What do you want to achieve? What’s important to you?

Having something to work towards, to channel our energies, to dream about is the gas that keeps life’s engine running.  Achieving our exact goals in the manner in which we have dreamed is not as important as having something to work towards that excites us.  These goals don’t have to be lofty.  They can go from buying a house to simply and profoundly living fully in the present.

Without something to “fight” about our lives can easily turn into a merry-go-round of task after task. Life then becomes something we must do instead of an opportunity to learn about ourselves, to grow, and to fully engage.

When we are children we dream about being dancers, firefighters or presidents.  As young adults we imagine how we are going to be successful in business and/or in love.

Unfortunately as the obstacles start to mount – as they often do – many of us simply give up on what we first dreamed about without replacing the empty spots with something else.

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Live Now And Here

There should be some amount of planning going towards our future.  But most of life should be lived in the moment.

I do have plans or thoughts of what I want my life to look like in the near future but I only use them as a blue print.  I know too well that life has its own agenda and will open and close doors of its own will. If we are not ready to go with the opportunities we will miss them while being frustrated by life not turning out the way we planned.

I’m sure all of us can look at our own lives and see many instances where situations came out of nowhere.  Call it destiny, karmic coincidence, miracle or a chaotic universe but the truth is we do not have full control of our existences.   And that’s a good thing.  It is through the surprises, the unexpected that we gain wisdom.   Being surprised gets us to think and act outside our comfort zone.

As we adopt more of a free flowing life style we also place less demands on ourselves to be and to act in specific ways.  We become open and in synch with the rhythm of life.  No expectations just absorbing every moment.

No longer forward nor behind
I look in hope and fear;
But grateful take the good I find,
The best of now and here.
John G. Whittier

Are You Addicted To Perfection?

Very good post by Jennifer Howard Ph.D. below.  In it she discusses how fruitless and destructive the pursuit of perfection really is.

What is the definition of perfection?  Who gets to define it?  No two people would ever agree on what perfection is. So how can we attempt to achieve that which cannot be agreed on by a majority?

Most people when shown the color yellow will say yellow. We may all see it a shade different and we all may experience it differently but we all agree it is yellow. No the same with perfection.

The search for perfection – whatever that means to each one of us – also takes us away from a true human experience. It is through our trials, errors and tribulations that we gain wisdom.  Sometimes losing or an “error” can have a greater positive impact than success.

Seeking perfection turns us against our own selves. Not embracing our “errors” as an important part of living as we do with “success”, makes us to be our own tormenters. The results are: blame and punishment instead of love and compassion.

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Reaching Freedom When The Ego No Longer Matters

There comes a time we understand that our life is our own journey.  That is when the approval of others is no longer what drives our every day.  And that is when we come to know we no longer have anything to prove. What we have and know is our own existence. And that is what matters.

When we get to that point, when ego is no longer trying to explain and justify, there is a great rush of freedom.  From that moment on we give ourselves permission to move full ahead in our own lives without having to stop and please.

We no longer give our ego attention when it’s screaming in our ears to prove we are worthy.  It no longer matters because we know the truth.  Our lives are about experience and wisdom.  The way life happens and we behave and exist, it only matters to us.

I often hear such freedom comes with age.  But I hope that isn’t right.  I hope any adult can have the ability to understand we don’t live our lives to fulfill other people’s ideas or expectations of us.  Spending time showing and proving to others we are right or worthy or conforming to some social expectation, leads nowhere because they are other people’s ideas and needs.

Our energies should always be directed at living our lives according to our own truths.  From experience to experience using gained wisdom as our conduit, that is a life well lived.

Living to get approvals only gets us stuck in our ego’s jail.  “I need to show I’m right.”  “I need to show I’m worthy.”  “I need to show.”

Showing matters none.   Being matters all.

Wherever you are in your journey, concentrate your attention to self-reflection.  Defending your ego is not that important. Let others think what they want. Concentrate in what you think.  Concentrate in where you want to go.  That’s your journey.  Your truth.

Derek Sivers: Keep your goals to yourself

Am I Worthy?

What am I worth?  Am I important enough? Does my life mean something?

Many of us struggle with those questions.  In a world where we measure worth and meaning by dollars and cents, the answers can often be complicated.

For many years I considered myself a failure.  I used to look at my professional success and my bank account in comparison to what I thought I was capable of achieving and the only answer I could come up with was that I had failed.  That I had no value.

I struggled with that for many years.  Even when friends and partners would point out how much I had given them or how much I had overcome, it didn’t make a dent.  I couldn’t assign value to character, kindness, understanding and friendship.  And I know I am alone in that.

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Are You Living A Full Life?

When we are kids we have fantasies of: “when I grow up I’m going to be a teacher, astronaut, president, firefighter etc.”  As we grow older those dreams change and turn into either more practical ones or more in tune with the person we have become.

Most of us will achieve some version of our “dream” and then settle in life.  We become attached to our victories, friends, and things.  But are we truly content?

Recently a friend of mine told me she was selling her home in Florida, leaving her relationship, and then taking a few months off to travel and figure out where she wants her life to go next.  Her email shocked me – not in a bad way – and so I asked myself why.

My friend is in her early to mid-forties.  She is neither a hippie nor new age.  She is a responsible “normal” looking woman.

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Finding Inspiration In Appreciation

I was looking at my computer screen wondering what I would write about today.  Looking for inspiration I went to the Huffington Post and read about the 43 celebrities that live or have lived with depression.  I thought; that’s nice but I’m in no mood to write about depression.  The truth being I was feeling a little sad myself.

I was thinking about my life’s journey; a childhood full of life and excitement, a young adult life marred with sadness, a discovery of love, and great loss.  In essence my thoughts were not helping my staying away from feeling blue. Then I saw the video below and in an instant all the sadness was gone.

The video of an Australian TV program shows a young man, who was found in a shoe box with his brother in Iraqi, and brought to Australia by a woman who adopted both. He was on the show to sing Imagine by John Lennon.  As the teenager tells his story we see that he and his brother have many physical disabilities including no arms and deformed legs.  But a woman found love for them, took them in and together created a family.

There is much for us to be appreciative of and it doesn’t have to be the big things.  We don’t need to be crazy in love, or have the amazing job, or make a great living to be content today.  Sometimes the small things are the ones that remind us of the beauty and the range of possibility that each one of ours lives can experience. They are simple everyday possibilities like taking a moment to appreciate friendship, or the taste of an amazing slice of pie.

Please watch the video below of a young man who has found inspiration in appreciation.

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