Help! Am I Making The Right Decision?
We are often plagued by uncertainty when making life altering decisions. Do I take this job? Do I move to this city?
We want to get it right. We want to know the decision we are making is absolutely the decision that will bring us the greatest amount of happiness. We obsess over the “should I or should I not” during the day while tossing and turning at night.
What we forget is that every decision is a ripple effect that has consequences in the present as well as in the future. Because we see our lives mostly based on the near past, present and near future, we don’t have the tools to see our lives for what they really are: a journey. Even “bad” decisions might have “good outcomes”.
It’s easy to be upset at ourselves for making decisions which in the immediate present may not seem to have been the best decision to be made. But if we had the ability to step back and see where this decision will take us, maybe we wouldn’t be so harsh towards ourselves.
Yesterday, I took a pilot writing class. When asked how the teacher got her break into television she told us she had been an actress and when she was in her twenties she had was offered two plays to act in. She had to make a decision. She picked one. Well, the one she picked tanked. The other went on to be a success and was later moved to Broadway. She beat herself up for the “bad” decision. In her cast was another young actress, Rhea Perlman, who at the time was dating Danny DeVito. A couple of years later the two actresses were living in Los Angeles. My teacher wrote a play and asked Rhea to star in. The play was staged in a small theatre in Hollywood and nobody came to see it except for one night when Danny DeVito came with the entire cast and production of “Taxi”. James Brooks the creator of the show was part of this group. He loved the writing of the play and gave my teacher a job writing on the show. After that she went on to write in a number of shows and had a successful career as a writer.
Maybe if she had chosen the other more successful play, she would have had a career as an actress. Maybe not.
The point is: with every decision doors open and doors close.
Next time you are faced with a big decision, decide on what feels right for you at the moment and then let it go. The full effects of your decision will only be felt when you take your last breath.
Our journey is made out of all the trips we make in between being born and dying. So don’t be afraid to make bold decisions. There is no right or wrong. There is only different.