Feeling Blue? Don’t Fret. It Might Be A Good Thing.
This morning I woke up feeling blue.
I have been working non-stop on many different projects that are meaningful and important to me. They keep me engaged and sharp. But this morning my thoughts were turned to my family.
I called my parents and was reminded it was Yom Kippur; Day of Atonement. I had not planned to go to temple or to fast. I’m not an observant Jew. But the fact I didn’t even remember it was the most important Jewish day of the year underscored my feeling of disconnection.
As I tried to understand my feelings I realized my ache came from me pining for a situation, a relationship that does not exist. I was pining for a happy family where everyone is there to support each other. That is not my family, my family has real problems.
Sometimes we ache not because of our reality but because of an illusion of reality. In my case this morning, I felt a disconnection from my idealized family and then I blamed myself for that. But as I brought myself back to look at my real family I was reminded of why things are the way they are. By looking at my reality the ache moved on.
Fantasies and idealizations of the past and the future keep us trapped in sorrow and guilt. If we buy into them we suffer for their loss or for never achieving or living them. But the truth is fantasies and idealizations are just that. But if we can see past them then we stop being their prey.
These days when I feel blue, I don’t try to suffocate the feeling. I simply ask myself questions about why I’m feeling the way I am. As I answer each question the next one comes up until the truth emerges. Once I know the truth then I can truly address that which is hurting me.
Feelings are text messages from our inner-selves to let us know it is time for some self-reflection.
I know the more I understand about my own mechanisms of being in the world the better I can address my own feelings and grow.
Next time you are feeling blue ask yourself what is really bothering you. Go through the process and you will see that by answering your own questions to yourself, you are actually self-arming with tools to create a life of greater contentment.