Learning To Accept Others As They Are
I would like to share the article I’m posting below. It discusses how much sadness and difficulties we create for ourselves because we don’t accept things as they are.
In the article Judith describes the situation of a client of hers who struggled with an unsatisfying relationship with her sister her entire life. The client described to her trying a number of different methods and approaches in order to create some type of relationship. But all her attempts failed because while the client was interested in figuring out how to co-exist and communicate, the sister wasn’t.
As sad as this conclusion is, it is also the truth. We cannot change how others think and feel. Everyone is entitled to their point of view. Now, spending enormous amounts of time trying to change others is our waste of time.
Unfortunately, there are situations that cannot be changed or “solved”. Accepting that and accepting the right of others to be as they are, is the only way we can free up our own anxiety and sadness over the situation.
As long as we are trying to show or prove our point of view and as long as we try to show others their wrong ways, we will live in resentment and anger. Our minds will take us to: “I did this and look how he/she reacted? Why are they so mean/cold/selfish towards me?”
Now, accept others and the situation as they are and then all of a sudden there is no resentment or anger. Things are the way they are. I’m not saying there won’t be sadness to being with. I’m saying there will be freedom to move on.
Please read on.
How to Keep Negativity at Arm’s Length
By Judith Johnson
What if we stopped fighting against people and situations we perceive as our enemies. What if we accepted them exactly as they are and as having the right to exist? What if we invested our energy in living, doing and being the change we want, rather than depleting our energy fighting against what is present? Continued…