Learn About Self-Respect

November 13, 2011 by  
Filed under Blog

Photo by Angie Rubin

I’ve spent many years of my life defending my ego.  I often thought I needed to show everyone who I was and what I knew otherwise they wouldn’t care or respect me.  How wrong was I?  In all those years what I mostly accomplished was frustration and disappointment.  The reason is simple: the people that need to be wowed to respect us won’t unless we are the King or Queen of some fantastic land.  And even when they do it is superficial and temporary.

Respect is something we feel about ourselves.  It is an internal feeling that does not need validation from anybody else.  It doesn’t matter how others see or treat us if we feel our own worth.  And here is the kicker; when we have self-respect it doesn’t matter what task we are performing others will tend to see us the same way we see ourselves.

In the cases when we are confronted with situations where we are dealing with very insecure individuals that need to put others down in order to feel okay about themselves, it doesn’t bother us because we can see it for what it is; a very insecure individual clawing at anything to feel safe.

But here is the most important thing: how liberating it is to no longer need to work at being seen and instead just be?  All the effort that goes into coming up with ways to shine can be used to just be, and in being we actually shine.  We shine because we are all unique sources of wisdom and experience.

I have just recently had a chance to experience a work situation in a completely different way I had in the past.  I was not in the power position and actually was in a lesser position than usual.  But it was clear to me why I had taken the job; I was being paid well.  I did my job and put my ego aside.  And in doing so, I also put all the thoughts that usually impregnate my mind: “I’m better than him/her, I know more than him/her, I need to prove who I am, Who do they think they are”. I was able to learn about self-respect and the needless attempts to show the whole world who we are.  In the end I felt I had let lose one of my chains; that of needing to prove my worth to others to feel worthy. I felt lighter and wise.

 

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