Uncaring Behavior Often Has Nothing To Do With Us
Interesting post below; it divides coming to the understanding that other people’s behavior often has nothing to do with us in a two step-process.
The first step of course is to realize we are not the center of the universe — although many of us would like that to be the case. The second is seeing people’s reactions in a deeper way; compassionate, understanding and a reflection of how they see their world.
The first step is easy the second can be a little harder and most likely a lifetime endeavor.
We all have a rich inner-world and a way to process information and emotions. Our thoughts and actions are the results of these processes.
When someone acts in a way that is hurtful it is often because of something we are not privy to or the way they process our inter-actions.
When I was a teenager, living my family dynamics was hard for me and so I ended up leaving not only my parent’s home but my country all together and moving to NY. At that time everything that happened in my home I felt responsible for. To me it was something I did or didn’t do. The pressure was great. Had I then had the tools to understand that in relationships people bring in their frustrations, and their ways to see the world, I would have been better prepared to deal with my family life. I would have understood some of the things they said or some of the things they did was about them and not me. It would have been able to either walk away, not take it personally and better yet; I would have been able to see their behavior for what it was.
Please read on.
By Margaret Paul, Ph. D.
‘If You Really Loved Me, You Wouldn’t…’
How often do you tell yourself that another’s uncaring behavior means that this person doesn’t care about you?
How often have you had the thought, “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t…
- Get angry, yell, curse, call names, say mean, untrue things about me
- Project your feelings and motives onto me
- Withdraw, run away, shut down, sit spaced-out in front of the TV
- Resist doing what I ask you to do
- Look at other women or other men, have an affair
- ____________________ (fill in your own)…Continued