Riding The Waves Of Change
“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” -Andre Gide
One of the definitions in Merriam-Webster dictionary for change is: “to make a shift from one to another.” In psychological terms that is what change means; at the start we are A and when we are done we are Z.
Now, along the way we have to go through the entire alphabet and that is most often extremely chaotic. The reason is simple. We are comfortable being A. We know how to respond to people and things. When we do get to Z, we will also be okay. Again we will be comfortable being Z and we’ll know how to think and respond.
The problem with changing is all the uncertainty and uneasiness one needs to go through between being A and being Z. The journey is the process of breaking down a way of being in life while building a new one.
It is common, while going through the process of changing, to doubt ourselves and where we are going. It is easy to feel oneself lost in the chaos.
Change usually starts from an intellectual need. We realize something about us or our lives needs to be different. Then intellectually we draft a course of action. Thoughts like: “I’m going to do this from now on in an XYZ way” or “I’m going to feel about this from now on in this new XYZ manner” decorate our planning.
This process of intellectually mapping out our destination is correct. We need to know where we want to get to. But chaos starts during the second phase when our psychology and feelings get actively involved in the process. Now, we are dealing in new territory where every different sensation is a bridge to many other feelings and history.
Unfortunately, there aren’t any short cuts to change. The process is messy and the only support we have to fall back on is to keep checking with the original need and the intellectual plan we set up at the beginning of our journey.
We must also learn to embrace the uneasiness of the process. We must trust the feeling, which can be equated to jumping off a plane with a parachute, to be exhilarating and enjoy the ride because we know we are going to land. And when we do we are going to have gone through a life transforming event. We will become the Z we set ourselves to become.