The Right To Feel As We Do
That’s a tough one, simply because it’s complicated.
We have responses to everything that touches our lives, but sometimes it is difficult to manage all the feelings. We question ourselves: Is this my real feeling or is this made-up to cover up for the “truth”? Do I have the right to feel this way?
Anyone, that has spent time delving into the inner-workings of the self, know we must pull all the layers back – the ones we have created to fit in, or the ones that have been created as a protection mechanism – to find how we truly feel. And even when we get there, we often have the impulse to explain why we feel the way we do.
I have known and have finally learned that my feelings don’t have to be “right” or “wrong”, but do have the right to exist.
It is a mistake to look at our feelings and try to understand them from a point of view where we need to classify them as good or bad, right or wrong. If we could instead just look at our feelings as our own response to something or someone without judgment, we would find a great deal more of well-being and compassion for own selves.
Learning to allow our feelings to exist, come as a result of a great deal of inner-working. It is usually then followed by trusting our instincts and knowing that our core is strong enough to support us in whatever results from our actions. In that there is great freedom.
Feelings often evade logic and operate at a different cadence. That is most clear in romantic relationships. Why do we like each other? On paper it may not work, but in life it does. Or the other way around. Why is that? Feelings don’t necessarily follow logic.
Often instead of simply acting according to our feelings, we try to explain them away and get others to help in this endeavor. But, regardless how well-intentioned a friend, partner or family member is, they can’t fully understand and therefore help guide our responses.
It all comes back to an intimate relationship with the self. Once we have that we learn to give room to our feelings knowing they are valid as they are and regardless of the results we will be okay.
We stand-up for how we feel without anger or judgment with the singular thought of: this is who I am and this is how I feel.