Get Rid Of Your “Should” List
Here’s my confession: “I have a terrible case of SHOULD syndrome”. In my mind I should be kinder, wiser, fitter, successful, happier etc. The truth is all these “shoulds” keep me from appreciating who I am and what I have accomplished in my life. It also keeps me from opening my life up to possibilities that don’t fit my particular “shoulds”.
Now, I’ve known about my self-imposed noose for a long time and have been making strides to loosen its grip.
It all started when I realized the harshest and most demanding critic I had was my own self. While others were ready to pay compliments for the person that I am, I was not. So, I started by reminding myself I should extend the forgiveness and acceptance I had for others to my own self. I followed that by realizing I always did the best I could and that is all that can be expected from any of us.
Once, I could accept the notion that I couldn’t and shouldn’t be perfect – after all none of us are – I started to relax on the shoulds.
Today, I have a better time accepting that I am as kind as I can be at this moment. That I’m as fit as I can be with the time and energy I have. That I behave in the best way I can when something comes up. If later that proves not to be the case then I simply tell myself that my behavior was the choice I could make based on how I felt and what I knew at the time that it happened.
I still have a long way to go in freeing myself from the scrutiny I put my own self under, but I’m making strides and so can you if you too are a “should” sufferer.
Below is an interesting post by Christy Matta, M.A further discussing the should issue.
Please read on.
10 Beliefs That May Be Keeping You From the Life You Want
By Christy Matta, M.A.
We’re often kept from getting what we want in life by the demands we place on ourselves more so than by the demands of others. Pressure, hassles and tension often come when what we want to do conflicts with what we tell ourselves is “right.” We see a messy house and believe we “should” clean it, or we long to pursue a career we’re passionate about but tell ourselves “I can’t do that.” Continued…