Drop The “Should” List
I am thinking about how much stress and turmoil is actually self-created. I’m specifically thinking about the terrain between that which we want and that which we think we SHOULD have.
As we go through life we start to adopt/take on a list of things that society has created as the bible to live by. But, are these rules/concepts agreeable to all of us all the time? No. And so conflicts are born between what we do and what we think we should do.
I have found the first line of defense in these situations is to ask ourselves what we really want out of an experience. I ask myself again and again until I can give an honest response. Once I know what I really want then I concentrate on that and try not to worry about the “should” yelling in my head.
I’m not saying it is easy to rise above the intense psychological conflict that ensues, but not taking it on means missing out on many opportunities that could provide us with experience and contentment.
Let me give you an example: Sometimes we find ourselves in relationships that don’t necessarily fall within the long lasting, 100% fulfilling – or close to – realm but fall within “what we need for right now”. So, the relationship is satisfying now. But, if we hang on to thoughts of “I shouldn’t be enjoying this because I need to be in the “right” relationship, we will miss out on satisfying needs of now.
We never know what doors we open every time we go through an experience. Not, living them because they are not perfectly right in our own minds, keep us away from opportunities and wisdom. And lastly, who knows what the future may or may not bring.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do – Mark Twain.