Stop Being Negative

June 16, 2012 by  
Filed under Blog

Photo by Angie Rubin

It is so easy to see the glass half full — what I don’t have that I wish I had,  why others seem to have an easier time than I do, etc.  To most of us this type of reaction or behavior is almost automatic.

But being “negative” only compounds the problems.  If we’re feeling bad about not having achieved certain goals in our lives, thinking about that and lamenting our current situation doesn’t do us any good.  But, if instead we look at what we do have and our accomplishments; we will certainly enjoy our lives more and then be energized to continue to seek fulfilling our dreams.

To me learning to reeducate my brain to be more positive has been a long road.  Somehow lamenting and feeling sorry for myself became my MO sometime during my late twenties.  Not sure how it happened – maybe a combination of old family behaviors with a very unhappy relationship was enough to get me there.  But, regardless how it started, it soon became my modus operandi.  And then to complete the scenario I surrounded myself with others that behaved the same way.

Once you embark in this style of living, it is hard to turn back.  As we are habitual creatures, we start to find solace in our own pity and sadness. Soon that is how we respond to lives challenges.  Our attention goes to what is wrong instead of what is right.

If you find yourself not celebrating your relationships and achievements as much as you do your losses and frustrations, maybe it is time for you to also take charge and change.

Change you must, because often looking at what we don’t have will keep us in that space forever – there will always be something we don’t have.  The reality is, that it is a lot harder to attract success when we are feeling down.

So, if you are ready to turn your life around, you will have to do it by reeducating your response system.  First, when the sorrow hits, don’t allow yourself to wallow in it.  Stop your thinking process by immediately saying to yourself “don’t go there.”  Secondly, substitute in your mind the things you are lamenting you don’t have, by things you do have.  Thirdly, do something that brings you pleasure.  Whatever that is.  It doesn’t have to be a big act.  Even looking at something pretty – a painting, a flower, the smile of someone you love – can do the trick.

As you reeducate yourself, you’ll feel your life turn into a more pleasurable and fulfilling experience.  You’ll realize your well-being does not depend on what you don’t have, but on what you already have and are.  Celebrate your life.

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