How To Have Self-Respect
August 21, 2010 by Deborah Calla
Filed under Blog
The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs. ~Joan Didion
I work in the entertainment business as a producer. I have never done anything that has resulted in great financial compensation or fame but I earn my living producing documentaries, shorts, TV and feature films.
In every business, there is success, failure and ego but in the media business these accomplishments or lack of are actually commodities. “You are only as good as your last thing” and “it doesn’t matter how good it is, only how much it makes”, are phrases often tossed around in this finicky world. If you are wondering why I’m writing about this hang on a minute and I’ll make my point.
Learning to Live Life Now
June 7, 2010 by Deborah Calla
Filed under Blog
My life is about projects. I’m a producer and I am a writer. I either get hired to produce other people’s projects – like now I’m working on a special effects film for someone else – or I originate my own projects. At any time, I’m personally working on at least 4 different projects. Because film, TV, books, webisodes, take a long time to come to fruition (sometimes 10 years) I have had to learn to enjoy the process.
The 10 years that take for a feature film to come together is marred by disappointments, frustrations and setbacks. As a producer if I don’t find a way to get something out of the process, I will never make it to the end. The same as in life.
We all have goals we want to achieve so we work towards them. Sometimes these goals take a long time to happen and in the process of getting there, life continues to unfold.
Learning To Age
May 6, 2010 by Deborah Calla
Filed under Blog
One of the things I’m always sorry about is how few elder friends or elder family members we have around to share their wisdom and experience with us.
We all avoid age like it is the plague but the truth is; either we get old or we die. So somehow we need to learn how to age. But where are the stories about people in their 70s ,80s, 90s on television? Or in the movies? Or many of us socialize with older people? And how many of us can go to our parents for advice?
Most of my friends either treat their parents as children or never had or are about to have a meaningful friendship with their parents.
I’m close to my parents. I also seek out making friends with older people because I want to know how to age. I don’t want to be caught with my pants down when my time comes.
I know aging means accepting the physical changes that happen to us. Sometimes it is not an easy process, especially for us women whose physical attributes are so cherished in our society. So I bargain with life. I let some of my youthful energy go in exchange for wisdom. And I ask my older friends and my parents how to they do it.
My mom is always saying things like: “we all walk in the dark”, or “we have to be happy today”. Hearing those words from a woman who just turned 79 years old carries more weight than from a woman in her 30s or 40s because she says it from experience. And then she laughs and she’s always ready to do things.
When I spend time with her, I realize there is a way to age that does not give up on life. It’s a way that recognizes the different phases and knows how to adapt.
As I see my parents walking still holding hands and loving each other after 51 years of marriage, I know love lives on if cared for by people.
I’m not saying I’m looking forward to aging but by talking and spending quality time with older people, I know life can still be great in our 70s, 80s and 90s.
A Light In The Midst Of Loss
April 23, 2010 by The Love Project Inc.
Filed under Inspiring People
Catherine Ledner
Aiding Haitian Earthquake Victims
Carol Ritter
Age: 53
Hometown: Ruxson, Maryland
Married with three children
On January 12, 2010, Carol was sitting in a board meeting at the Greater Baltimore Medical Center when she received a text from her husband, Tom: “7.5 quake in Haiti really bad no contact CNN cant even get in.”
Carol was stunned. Since 2003 she had served on seven medical-aid missions to Haiti through the International Medical Alliance of Tennessee (IMA) and Friends of Haiti (FOH). For the rest of the meeting, Carol, who is the mother of three children, ages 23, 20, and 15, hunched over her phone, trying to reach friends in Haiti. “It was very scary,” she says. “Everything felt so uncertain.”
Forty-eight hours later, Carol learned IMA had received a plea for help from a Haitian doctor, and just days later she and Tom, a dentist, along with six other IMA team members, set up seven makeshift operating rooms in a clinic in Jimani, a town about 30 miles from Port-au-Prince.
Working 12-hour shifts, Carol performed about 900 surgeries over the next nine days and treated countless other victims, many with crushed limbs. “We went well beyond our comfort zones,” she says. “I’m a gynecologist, but I was surgically removing dead tissue from limbs to avoid the need for amputation.”
Carol also worked as a nurse, putting in IVs and offering comfort when she could. “Performing surgery is one thing, but taking care of the patients is almost harder,” she says. “You look into their eyes and see their fear.” Carol says she will never forget sitting with one woman as her husband took his last breath. “Her wails were just chilling,” she says. Another case devastated her as well―that of a pregnant woman who had lost her baby and was paralyzed from the waist down by the time she arrived at the clinic. No translator was on hand (most Haitians speak Creole) as the woman awaited transport to the U.S. Navy’s hospital ship for intensive medical care, but Carol pulled off a silver ring she was wearing and slid it onto the woman’s finger. “I wanted her to know I was thinking of her,” she says.
Fortunately, there were a few bright moments: Carol delivered two healthy babies (one grateful mother named her new daughter Carol), and she succeeded in obtaining a U.S. visa for her friend Nadia Amedee-Louisjean, 37, a Haitian translator for FOH in her last trimester of a high-risk pregnancy. (Shown here, Carol with Nadia and her baby boy, Gaetan; they are temporarily staying with the Ritters.)
When Carol returns to Haiti, she knows the devastation from the earthquake won’t have disappeared. “The Haitians have lost everything,” says Carol. “But I’ll never stop doing what I can to help. I always remember ‘There but for the grace of God go I.’”
Video Blog 2 – The Teflon Method
March 22, 2010 by Deborah Calla
Filed under Blog
Ten Great Things To Do To Lift Up Our Spirits
March 13, 2010 by Deborah Calla
Filed under Blog
1 – If you have a yard, sit outside on a comfortable chair to read a good book. If you don’t have a yard, take a blanket to your nearest park and don’t forget to add a picnic.
2 – If you have dogs, take them out for a walk or a hike to a place you’ve never been to. Make this an event for both you and your animals as you discover new streets and parks. Enjoy you dogs’ happiness.
3 – Invite friends for dinner. Make it a pot luck so you don’t get stuck in the kitchen.
4 – Get a massage. Always a great way to distress.
5 - If you have kids, a picnic at a park, beach or your own back yard is always fun
6 - If you have a partner, time to set time aside for each other. What about a massage or a glass of wine? What about just kissing? Remember how the first kiss was full of emotions? Give yourself and your partner time to kiss. And don’t forget to be present.
7 – If you enjoy cooking, go to the market, plan a really great meal and invite a few of your very close friends.
8 – Go for a drive. If you live near the beach or the mountains, this is a perfect way to distress. Driving also has the psychological benefit of making us feel like we’re moving forward. Of course make sure to pick a route you won’t get caught in traffic.
9 – What about horseback riding?
10 – Do you have potted plants? Could they use repotting? Do you have a garden?
Meaningful Conversations Are A Must For Happiness
March 6, 2010 by Deborah Calla
Filed under Blog
I found this article today on CNN.com and I wanted to share. It talks about a study published in the journal Psychological Science where meaningful conversations are proven to contribute to happiness. Check it out.
http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2010/03/05/unhappy-happ-small-talk/
Friends
July 20, 2009 by Deborah Calla
Filed under Blog
I truly know the value of friendship. If not for my friends I wouldn’t have made it when I lost my husband.
At that time, I had friends staying with me, taking me out and calling me for months. Actually they still do that, no longer because they are concerned for me “making it” but because they love me and I love them.
I’ve always been a people person. When I commit to a relationship, I’m there, no matter what. I’ve had friends for over thirty years and many are in different parts of the world. But now with quick internet connections we can Skype and email and its easier to stay in touch.
I’ve always known that friends are important but I’ve recently come across a New York Times article that states that friends also allow you to live longer.
Check out this link from the New York Times, http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/21/health/21well.html?_r=1&em and then call a friend and let them know how you are and ask them how they are, if you want to live longer 
TONY VILLELA DIES SAVING TWO
June 12, 2009 by The Love Project Inc.
Filed under Inspiring People
Tony Villela, 32, a Brazilian surfer and craftsman gave his life to save two inexperienced surfers drowning in the waters of Guaruja, Brazil.
Tony who was also known as “Tony of the small Craft’s Market”, was born and raised in Guaruja. When seeing four inexperienced surfers fighting against the currents in the ocean, Tony jumped in the water with his surfboard. He was able to save two while the other two managed to come out of the water on their own. After saving the surfers, Tony exhausted and with a cronic bad back, lost his surfboard, and was pulled away by the currents towards the rocks.
While lifeguards tried to swin to him, and firefigthers in helicopters tried getting to him, he came up for the last time stretching his arm up towards the helicopter before being thrown against the rocks and dissapearing in the water. It took the authorities 3 days to find Tony’s body.
Tony left behind an 11 year old daughter, Jennifer Cardoso dos Reis Villela, who continues to surf as a homage to her father who had taught her how to practcise the sport and love the ocean.
Friends of Tony were not surprised by the man’s heroic act. “He died to save others. This shows the way he had always lived his life; in service” said Taiu Bueno.
Ruminations…
May 25, 2009 by The Love Project Inc.
Filed under Uncategorized
Rumi had a thing or two to say about love.
And I have a thing or two to say about Rumi.
Here is a link to a little background info on Rumi, in case you’d like to know more about him.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rumi
25
Friend, our closeness is this:
Anywhere you put your foot, feel me
in the firmness under you.
How is it with this love,
I see your world and not you?
This quatrain is a container of words into which a poet has poured his own mystical experience of love. The voice in the first stanza of this quatrain seems to be addressing a beloved friend. The words allude to the distance between them that has neither diminished their inner experience of connection, nor dulled an accompanying aura of longing. Though separated in space, these friends stand in a single stream of being that flows through both their hearts.
When the poet addresses matters on his own side of the physical divide, he suggests an inescapable sense of longing that troubles him and fuels the wonder that burns with it. He has shifted his tone, letting us know that he is addressing his question to both the human and divine subjects of his adoration. He knows the object of this love only through its surrogate – a world which is radiant with life and being. And yet in all its radiance, it is still only a surrogate and this suffuses the experience of this poet with great tension – between the love and awe that comprise his visionary experience, and the longing and doubt that confines the human mind.
In light of the second couplet, it seems that the first stanza has actually been an address of the Transcendent to the poet – the one who adorns the ineffable in words, making its presence audible in the world, ushering it toward an encounter with human minds. From this perspective, the words are an expression of natural benevolence; they extend the reassuring touch of an old and wise friend.
36
When I am with you, we stay up all night.
When you’re not here, I can’t go to sleep.
Praise God for these two insomnias!
And the difference between them.
The words of this quatrain are arranged in a manner that intermingles human and mystical love, as a reminder that the barricade between them is merely an artifact of our own forgetting.
“Praise God for these two insomnias” – of longing and of consummation, the two channels by which human beings may transcend the drowsiness of their daily toil, the relatively meager boundaries of production and consumption that are conventionally imposed upon the experience of living.
The tidal motion between these two insomnias animates life. The lover follows the dance-steps of a natural opera; the insomniac is in the throes of an imagination that is aflame with the processes of creation that have illuminated his sleeping mind.
Were it not for these God-given insomnias we would never raise our heads and open our eyes to gaze on a wider view; our minds would remain tethered to the chores placed before them. Without them we would graze along the surface until we slipped forever into the darkness beneath it.
