What’s The Secret To Happiness

New Thoughts On How To Be Happy

I have just read two articles of note.  One published in the New York Times “But Will It Make You Happy”  the other on CNN “Homesickness Isn’t Really About Home”.

The reason why I’m bringing up both articles is because they both – for different reasons – relate happiness to relationship.

The NYT article discusses the new trends in consumers, due to the economic downturn, which is actually creating a higher level of happiness.  Instead of spending money on “things” consumers are spending money on experiences.

” New studies of consumption and happiness show, for instance, that people are happier when they spend money on experiences instead of material objects, when they relish what they plan to buy long before they buy it, and when they stop trying to outdo the Joneses.” – NYT

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Creating The Life We Want

“Some pursue happiness, others create it.”

How freeing it is when we can live our lives without needing other people’s approval.

Sometimes we arrive to this mind set through age or loss, but those do not have to be the only two ways.

At any point, we can decide that only we fully know who we are and where we want to go.  We can believe in our goals and not be side-tracked by situations and comments that only serve to distract us from our own paths.

We can have freedom of being by believing and committing to our own lives without needing anybody else’ blessing or permission.

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Video Blog – 5

You want to have a more fulfilling life, have it. It all starts by deciding to do so.

Angela Sarafyan Talks About Happiness

Actress Angela Sarafyan ( The Mentalist, Kabluey, CSI:NY, Cold Case) talks about what it takes to be happy.

Self Sabotage; A Very Dangerous Activity

Here’s a question, how many of us tell ourselves the following phrase “I’m going to show them” over and over again?  How many of us actually cause things to go wrong and by saying “I’m going to show them” we have a false feeling of vindication?

Let me be specific.  We decide we want something in life: a promotion, a career, a relationship, then we orchestrate things to a point where things go south, we then become the victim but underneath is all is the fact we didn’t live through what we professed we wanted in the first place.    We were scared of either really succeeding or loosing and so we manipulate ourselves, others and situations so we can end up like victims.  And as victims we can obtain a false sense of courage with things like: I’ll show them.  Wouldn’t it be easier to really try for whatever we want?  If we failed or won wouldn’t that be rewarding?

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A Child’s Affirmation – A Must See

If you ever wondered what joy is, watch this video. Priceless.

Michael J. Fox

Ask Michael J. Fox what prompted him to write his third book, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Future, and he does exactly as you’d expect: crack wise. The 48-year-old actor, author, and advocate for medical research (he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in 1991) says he’s finally gotten to the point where he can “dispense a certain degree of advice with a straight face.” A beat, though, and he adds this about the book: “There’s no expertise in it. It’s all my experience. I don’t have the burden of expertise.”

Plus: Read an exclusive excerpt from Michael J. Fox’s new book

Two decades after portraying Marty McFly in the final installment of the Back to the Future trilogy, Fox has largely given up acting. He knows that for many fans, his face and voice will always conjure memories of Alex P. Keaton, the conservative teen he portrayed on the 1980s sitcom Family Ties. But if you want his recipe for happiness, it’s simple: Leave the past behind (yes, the ’80s too!) and live in the moment…Continued

Just Do It, Unplug Now

There is so much to write about unplugging but before I start typing away, let me make a disclaimer: I’m not a new age anything. There are no crystals under my bed and I don’t know if my house is Feng Shui acceptable or not. But I am a woman who has lived on this planet for more years than I care to share and who is in constant search of a meaningful life.

Having said that, I must now say I am a true believer of unplugging. We all know that “more” does not equal “better”. So why do we all have bought into this idea that if we aren’t busy and reachable 24/7, we are unproductive or even worse; things aren’t going to happen?

We have to realize that all this running around, holding on to mobile phones, computers, internet, and trying to keep up with everything, is leaving us, our families and friends behind. We are also jeopardizing the quality of our creativity, love and sexuality – life’s energy sources – because these feelings and inspirations need space, calm and attention to thrive.

Technology is a great advancement in human development but it is meant to be in addition to our relationships to ourselves and others and not instead of. The result is today we are a nation of stressed out overachievers without having become an ounce happier.

Every research done on happiness points to the following ingredients for achievement: a feeling of being loved and belonging, time to connect with others and nature, and a healthy relationship to self. But who can reach any of that if we can’t put our smart phones aside for even a moment?

If you are feeling stressed out and overwhelmed, you have to ask yourself is it worth being known as someone who is always on the go? Think about it and hopefully the answer will most likely be no.

Once you decide something needs to change the next thing is how, and here is the great thing: you don’t need to totally change who you are and what you do to decompress on a daily basis and have a more fulfilling life. What you need to do is find what is in your life that brings you calm and satisfaction and do it every day. I’m not talking about travelling to the Himalayans or spending a day at the spa. I’m talking about things that are easy and inexpensive to do.

For me decompressing is sitting outside in my yard and being quiet, even if it is only for 10 minutes. I have a very close relationship with my house so sitting outside and listening to the birds with my eyes closed, feeling the sun and the breeze grounds and brings me peace. I also love wine and food but if I throw some food on my plate and wine in a glass and eat and drink like I haven’t in a year, the magic is gone. So I unplug by taking the time to prepare and taste my food and my wine. I give it the attention and the intention to make it special.

These small actions have the power to slow me down and make me “be” in the present. And when I am in the moment, I don’t worry about the past, because it’s gone, or the future, because it has not happened yet. Being in the moment is healing and has the power to regenerate us. It is active meditation.

There is no race to be won; there is only life to be fully lived. Remember the old saying: “you can’t take it when you die”. What you do take is how you felt and how you made other people feel.

So when you have mastered the short time unplugs go for the gold and take a full day off by putting your phone and computer aside. It will be life changing.

Follow Your Dreams With Gusto

While I often write about living in the moment, surrendering (please don’t confuse with giving up), I’m also all for pursuing what you want in your life with as much energy as you can muster.

I’m not one to say “lower your expectations and you’ll have a happier life” because I’m someone who has always had big dreams.  There has never been anything I have wanted to do that I though it was outside my ability.

If someone can do something that means to me, that I can too.  But for many years this attitude brought me a lot of discontent because I concentrated so much on achieving my dreams and goals that I didn’t enjoy the process.  Some of my goals have been really lofty and brought many disappointments and so because I wasn’t enjoying the present and only obsessing with the future, I was unhappy and frustrated.

So I had to make an adjustment in my life.  I could still have my dreams and goals and they could still be as lofty as my imagination could create, but I had to make the journey be the focus and not the result.

I still think I can do anything but my life is happening in the present and the journey is now more important than the end result.

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