A Few Steps To A Better Life
August 10, 2009 by Deborah Calla
Filed under Blog
What’s the worst that could happen? That has become my mantra when I start to feel anxious or afraid about something. I actually ask myself the question and run through all the answers and usually find that I can handle the worst case scenario and so I take a few deep breaths and start to relax. It sounds easy but it has taken me a very long time to get to this point.
Another thing that has taken me a long time to come to is the decision to be happy. I used to be very self destructive. I often put myself in situations where it was impossible for a happy ending to occur. Basically I lived in chaos. So one day I just got really sick of it and decided I would live differently. First I cut some people out of my life. Mostly because of the qualities they brought out in me. Then I promise myself I wouldn’t get bothered by everything that happened and that I wouldn’t get pulled into other people’s dramas. I would continue to be a good listener but I would set boundaries.
The third step I took was to every day find things that I could do that brought a smile to my face. Then it was the “what’s the worst that could happen?” question.
The final step was believing that I deserved respect. I’m still working on this last step but life changed and still is changing while I apply all the steps described above.
In a very short time after deciding to live differently, I met my husband, who was kind and supportive and as distinct as possible from all the bad boys I used to date. I also accomplished more with my work and became more self assured. The most important though is that life became more fulfilling. I’m more aware of the small moments; like spending the day yesterday with my sister and nieces who are visiting from Italy. Being aware that being together and laughing is a precious time gave me a sense of well being and belonging. There is such power in the little things.
So I keep working on my steps and looking to add a very more.