Interesting post below discussing self-abandonment. It basically states – and I agree – that no adult can really abandoned by someone else except by their own selves. That’s because as an adult we physically no longer need someone to feed and shelter us. We must do that for ourselves. We won’t be discussing physical abandonment but psychological and emotional.
I know a lot about self-abandonment. I have loving parents who for many reasons didn’t do a lot of parenting. When things at home turned to being impossible for me to grow and thrive, I left. But what followed were decades of self-deprecation as a way of me “paying” for having been “bad” and having left my family. The results were devastating: abusive relationships and financial turmoil.
It wasn’t until a real disaster happened in my life – the loss of my husband – that I stopped to think why I had let depression and anxiety be my constant companions. I took a long trip inward, got to know myself, and realized it had been I who had abandoned my life.
If you are in touch with your real feelings and desires than you must have compassion for yourself because you know how you have struggled and overcame all the difficulties in your life. You know where you have been, who you were and who you are.
Compassion is a door to love. You open that door and love comes out.
If you love yourself than you know no matter what happens and who walks in or out of your life, you will always be there for you.
People always say we come into this world alone and we leave alone. That’s mostly true but what is missing is pointing out that in having our own companionship we keep depression, anxiety and a sense of loss at bay.
No one is truly alone when they have themselves.
Please read on.
By Margaret Paul Ph.D.
If you feel alone, empty, anxious, depressed, hurt, angry, jealous, sad, fearful, guilty or shamed, you are abandoning yourself. In this article, discover the ways you might be abandoning yourself.
The Encarta® World English Dictionary defines “abandon” as: “to leave somebody or something behind for others to look after, especially somebody or something meant to be a personal responsibility.” Continued…
I know a thing or two about self-destructive behavior. In my life I had two distinct cycles; first when I left my family in Brazil and moved to NYC. Second, when I left my first husband in NYC and moved to Los Angeles.
Now even prior to my move to NYC, I find a girl who always had trouble understanding why people would love me. Even a friend. So I would look at every relationship I had and ask myself what was I providing that person with to justify them being my friend. One can say I had a serious case of low self-esteem. And of course it wasn’t justified. I’ve always had many qualities that make me a person worth being with and loving.
My first cycle ran for about ten years. I married a man who was controlling and abusive and little by little lost myself to depression.