The Magic Of Touching

January 5, 2011 by  
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Many years ago when I moved to New York from Brazil the thing I missed the most was human touch.  In Brazil, when you meet someone you give them one kiss on each cheek. You hug and hold hands of family members and friends.  And when Brazilians talk to each other there is a lot of hand on hand and hand on shoulder action. So as a newly arrived Brazilian in the US, I had to resort to going to get manicures just to have my hands held.

As I think about it when we were babies; touching and holding is how we communicated and experienced the world.  As we started to walk – an adult holding our hand – gave us the courage and the safety to take those first steps.

When we were kids we touched, pushed and hugged our friends.  When we started dating holding hands became a whole new experience.

I wonder when in this country we become hesitant to touch each other.

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Moving Through Grief

May 20, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

When we lose a partner one of the things we also lose is a sense of belonging.  We go from being a team to being an individual.  Sometimes we can even feel disoriented like everyone else has a place to go to except us.  Or that the world is spinning fast and we can barely keep our balance.

This phase happens when we start stepping back into the world.  When we feel we would like to see what else is in the world for us.  This is a delicate time because being frightened can send us into a shell.

During this time it is important to realize 1 – Life as it was is over, and 2 – We have decided to fully experience life again.

Don’t worry about not remembering our loved ones that are no longer here.  We will always remember.  We will always love.  And we will always miss.  But all in a different way.  All giving space to love again.  Because that is what life is: love, resilience, wisdom, experience.

So when you feel off balance take a deep breath and stop thinking.  Go back within and tell yourself you are okay.  Tell yourself one step at a time.

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