Let Go Of Impatience

August 9, 2012 by  
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I was born without patience.  Actually, I was born wanting things to happen instantly.  I want it, I take action, I want the result.  Unfortunately, I have had to learn that life doesn’t work that way.  It doesn’t, simply because while I would like to be the center of the universe, I am not.

Involved in everything we want are others who also have their wants and desires as well as the unexpected because life has its own rhythm.   So, rather than live a life of frustrations, I work at cultivating patience.

We need to do it because we are tested on a regular basis.  It seems that standing in line or on hold is now a daily occurrence.   And so if we don’t practice patience we are going to be buried under a mountain of frustration.

In terms of goals, it seems that achieving what we want now takes more time and more work.  There is great competition and many obstacles.   So again without practicing patience we will simply self-destruct.

When I know I have to wait long at a doctor’s office or hold a phone to my ear until it feels it’s become part of my being; I talk to myself before it happens.  I do it as if talking to a child.  I remind myself that losing my “cool” won’t do me any good.  It will actually make things worse.  I say to myself: “If you want such and such to happen you have to keep calm.”  I also make sure to have reading or writing materials so if I can, I’ll make myself busy.

In terms of goals – that’s a tough of one.  You really want something, you’ve done all you could, and now you have to wait.  But there lies the key to patience.  You’ve done all you could.  Once I hit that point I tell myself to let go.  There is nothing else more to do then to stay busy with other things and let life take its course.  The minute I feel the feeling of frustration or impatience creeping in, I turn my attention to something else.  I make myself busy.  If my mind is engage with living then I have no time to let frustration build up.

Try these techniques and if they don’t work for you, find your own and let me know.  Dealing with frustration and impatience is a lifelong commitment.   I shall have other suggestions soon.

 

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Just Do It, Unplug Now

May 6, 2010 by  
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There is so much to write about unplugging but before I start typing away, let me make a disclaimer: I’m not a new age anything. There are no crystals under my bed and I don’t know if my house is Feng Shui acceptable or not. But I am a woman who has lived on this planet for more years than I care to share and who is in constant search of a meaningful life.

Having said that, I must now say I am a true believer of unplugging. We all know that “more” does not equal “better”. So why do we all have bought into this idea that if we aren’t busy and reachable 24/7, we are unproductive or even worse; things aren’t going to happen?

We have to realize that all this running around, holding on to mobile phones, computers, internet, and trying to keep up with everything, is leaving us, our families and friends behind. We are also jeopardizing the quality of our creativity, love and sexuality – life’s energy sources – because these feelings and inspirations need space, calm and attention to thrive.

Technology is a great advancement in human development but it is meant to be in addition to our relationships to ourselves and others and not instead of. The result is today we are a nation of stressed out overachievers without having become an ounce happier.

Every research done on happiness points to the following ingredients for achievement: a feeling of being loved and belonging, time to connect with others and nature, and a healthy relationship to self. But who can reach any of that if we can’t put our smart phones aside for even a moment?

If you are feeling stressed out and overwhelmed, you have to ask yourself is it worth being known as someone who is always on the go? Think about it and hopefully the answer will most likely be no.

Once you decide something needs to change the next thing is how, and here is the great thing: you don’t need to totally change who you are and what you do to decompress on a daily basis and have a more fulfilling life. What you need to do is find what is in your life that brings you calm and satisfaction and do it every day. I’m not talking about travelling to the Himalayans or spending a day at the spa. I’m talking about things that are easy and inexpensive to do.

For me decompressing is sitting outside in my yard and being quiet, even if it is only for 10 minutes. I have a very close relationship with my house so sitting outside and listening to the birds with my eyes closed, feeling the sun and the breeze grounds and brings me peace. I also love wine and food but if I throw some food on my plate and wine in a glass and eat and drink like I haven’t in a year, the magic is gone. So I unplug by taking the time to prepare and taste my food and my wine. I give it the attention and the intention to make it special.

These small actions have the power to slow me down and make me “be” in the present. And when I am in the moment, I don’t worry about the past, because it’s gone, or the future, because it has not happened yet. Being in the moment is healing and has the power to regenerate us. It is active meditation.

There is no race to be won; there is only life to be fully lived. Remember the old saying: “you can’t take it when you die”. What you do take is how you felt and how you made other people feel.

So when you have mastered the short time unplugs go for the gold and take a full day off by putting your phone and computer aside. It will be life changing.

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Life Lessons And Other Things

July 25, 2009 by  
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Last May I bought a loft with my family in downtown LA as an investment.  I then spent about a month and a half renovating the place. The renovation was difficult as my handyman was working at the same time the graveyard shift at Home Depot.

Anyway the renovation eventually got done taking longer and costing more than I have envisioned.

Renting the place was another difficult phase; it is a renter’s market after all.

A couple of days ago I finally managed to rent the loft for less than what I had hoped to rent for but it was rented and I could move on with other things.

In the meantime my dad landed in the hospital for the third time this year, in need of four more stents in his heart, making him the record holder of max amount of stents in a heart; sixteen all together.

Yesterday, my handyman was doing some work at my house and when he was done, I asked him to go to the loft and change the garbage disposal which I had been told was broken.  The tenant’s furnishings were already there but the tenant himself was not coming in till today.

Around 6pm I decided I was done for the day, put my pajamas and planed to have a glass of wine on my backyard and then watch a movie.  It had been a real difficult week and I really just wanted some rest.

I was on the phone in the process of telling a friend of my plans for the night, when my other line rang.  I put my friend on hold when I saw it was my handyman calling.

“What’s up?” I asked.  “I think I have kinda of bad news for you.  Your loft is flooding the very chic Edison Club downstairs” he said.  I didn’t even get back to my friend.  I just switched my pajama bottoms for pants and ran out of the house without having had any food since breakfast and wearing my pajamas top.

When I arrived, the club’s manager was on the sidewalk with the VP of the HOA telling him what was going on. She was definitely upset.  I tried to take a breath but it was not good.   All I could think about was that I was going to have to break the walls, lose my tenant and have to explain to my family the financial mess I had gotten them into.

Anyway, she and I got off on the wrong foot.  She wanting me to wait till the next day before I did anything and me wanting to do something right away.  I had a new tenant moving in and I really needed to know what I was dealing with.  Needless to say we were very aggressive with each other.

We ended up calling a plumber and as time went by both of us started to calm down and she invited me to have dinner at the club while we waited for the plumber.  I accepted.

As it turns out, Barbara the manager, is a real sweet lady.  She had lost a son, had lived in NYC and had done it all.  I had lost a husband, had lived in NYC and had done it all.

As we continued to converse, she talked about the owner of the club, a guy named Andrew.  She said he was in his 40s and a self made man.  In college he had started a real estate renovation business and had become really successful.  I’m listening to the story and it is becoming more and more familiar.  She then says that Andrew had started a film production company and it was now out of town directing his first feature.

All of a sudden it all came together for me.  My husband had gone to Andrew’s house to interview him because of the amazing job, Andrew had done to his house which once had belonged to Charlie Chaplin.

Chris had mentioned Andrew to me and he wanted me to meet him because of the film connection.  I’m a film/TV writer producer.  Barbara and I could not believe the coincidence.

Almost two hours later the plumber arrives.  He was a real sweet guy and together we checked the club, my loft and next door’s loft to figure out what was happening.

Okay, now comes the real disgusting part.  The flooding was coming from the toilet.  The plumber shut the water off and promised to return the next day to fix the problem.

Moral of this long story is 1- Barbara and I could have saved ourselves a lot of aggravation if we had been a little calmer and 2 – We hadn’t assumed the worst.

My tenant will move in without knowing anything and hopefully all that ends well will stay well.

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