The Difference Between Loneliness And Solitude

August 3, 2011 by  
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Although loneliness and solitude are often thought to be the same experience, nothing could be further from the truth.

For a long time in my life I felt lonely.  Even when I was married living in New York, I felt lonely.  The reasons were:  1 – I was terribly unhappy in my marriage and 2 – I didn’t have a healthy relationship with my own self.

Feeling unhappy in a relationship is a relatively easy situation to fix.  Sooner or later one of the two  – if not both – start a process of separation.  Now creating a relationship with oneself is a bit more complicated because it requires courage and commitment. Courage to embrace all aspects of our being – what we consider “good” and what we consider “bad” – and commitment, because it will take time to form a bond.

Once you decide to get to truly know yourself, solitude becomes the space and time to make it happen.

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Reacting To Osama Bin Laden

May 4, 2011 by  
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Much has been discussed about the explosive commemorations that broke out in different parts of our country.  Defenders say it was and it is a natural response to ten years of pent up anger and despair. Others say it brought a sense of completion; “Mission accomplished.” While others suggest patriotism is the core reason.

I understand all of it, but think happiness and excitement might be misguided reactions as a response to death.  By doing so we miss out on the significance of closure and death.  I am by no means saying this man shouldn’t have been hunted down.  But what the death of Osama Bin Laden brings home is how human beings can be filled with so much hatred and destruction that causes others to have to destroy them.

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Practice Commitment To Your Own Truth

April 27, 2011 by  
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I have recently received some really good work related news.  I worked really hard to turn a project into a reality and it seems that will be the case.  I shared the news with just a few very close people – I’m waiting for the absolute 100% sureness before sharing with everyone.  The point is while a couple of people were really happy for me a few were also jealous and manipulative.  I’m thinking about someone in particular who is truly close who came up with ways to hurt me.  Now why am I sharing this?  Because I think we often deal with “peculiar” reactions from others but are not prepared and fall pray.

I don’t believe these “peculiar” reactions came from people that wish me badly.  That would be an easy one to deal with; they don’t like and therefore they are not happy for me – they shouldn’t be in my life.  The “peculiar” reactions come from people that actually deeply love me, but they are unwell with themselves.  And that is the key piece of information when dealing with others.  People bring to relationships their own un-wellness.

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Company Uses Socia Media To Streamline Compassion

March 20, 2011 by  
Filed under Inspiring People

We can all do a little. So many people in need…These people have figured how to use social media to help their community.

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Beyond Feelings Of Wrongdoing And Rightdoing

February 26, 2011 by  
Filed under Featured

Photo by Angie Rubin

The great poet and theologian Rumi, said “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”

That’s the gist of Anne Naylor’s post.  To find ourselves at an evolutionary point where feelings are neither good nor bad; they just are.

Having feelings and emotions is part of being human.  Being dominated and controlled by them is neurosis.  We cannot stop feeling and we cannot become different people.  But we can allow the emotions and thoughts to exist without bowing down to them.

If we don’t underline and hang on to the negative emotions we actually have the possibility to turn pain and discomfort into something more fulfilling.  Grief, the ultimately negative experience, if allowed to exist can teach us about empathy, compassion and letting go.

When I lost my husband I kept thinking that pain and loss could not be all that was left of him.  As I allowed my grief all the space it needed without clamming to it and berating myself, I found the wisdom of acceptance.

Loving acceptance of our vulnerability and insecurities bring us emotional freedom.  And with that compassion for others.

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Can We Be Emotionally Free?

By Anne Naylor

What would life be like without emotional burdens like anxiety, depression, guilt, rage, self-doubt and shame? What does it mean to be “emotionally free”? Is it possible? Is it even desirable?

Part of the tool kit with which we human beings are born are our emotions. They must serve a purpose, or we would not have them. So far, so obvious. What would life be like without love, passion, enthusiasm, joy, excitement, exuberance, compassion, empathy or frustration, anger, resentment, envy, jealousy, greed and fear? Positive emotions serve to move us forward and expand our horizons. Negative emotions can trap us in a miserable downward spiral of hopelessness and despair…Continued

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Changing The World, A Tissue At A Time

January 20, 2011 by  
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Compassion doesn’t only mean stopping wars, feeding the hungry or ending the AIDS crisis.  Compassion in its most simple form is our human ability of for a moment being able to step into someone else’s shoes and understand their dilemma.

In 2007, when I first walked into the infusion center at Cedars Sinai Medical Center with my late husband,  I was taken by fear.  I looked around to the 30 – 40 people there all hooked up to a bag containing chemicals strong enough that signs were posted in the bathrooms asking patients to flush twice.  Chris and I looked for two seats together and waited for a nurse to come and hook him up as well.

Immersed in my pain, I turned my face away from Chris because of the tears running down my face. I didn’t want him to see them.  A woman sitting next to a man getting his infusion got up, picked up a tissue and without saying a word handed it to me.

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Experiencing Life Through Other People’s Point Of View

November 25, 2010 by  
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Years ago I saw a film called The Joy Luck Club.  The film tells the story of a few women and their mothers from the mothers’ point of view.  I watched the movie alone late at night. Half way into the film, I started to sob. I was overcome by a deep sorrow of having lived so many years without ever attempting to experience my relationship with my mother from her point of view.  In my wants and desires for my life in the world, I had forgotten I was part of her. She had given me life while I wanted to live that life. Because of that experience I was able to gain a new understanding and compassion for her.

Our minds are set up in such a way that we observe and experience everything as if we are the center of the universe.  Things and people exist because of us and for us.  The result is most often conflict and judgment.

Reminding ourselves to also experience our relationships through other people’s point of view turns our own lives into more layered and rounded existences.

The everyday practice is simply to develop a complete acceptance and openness to all situations and emotions, and to all people, experiencing everything totally without mental reservations and blockages, so that one never withdraws or centralizes onto oneself Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche

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The Difficulty Of Seeing The Good

October 31, 2010 by  
Filed under Featured

Below is Huffington Post I really enjoyed  by Scott Schwenk that I wanted to share with you.

I don’t know about administering healing or the “Course in Miracles” but I do know about not being swept away by emotions.  I also know about not reacting to everything that happens.  Scott discusses a personal situation where he was able to stay centered and therefore not add anger and anxiety to an already complex situation.

This is a way of being that I have been able to master yet.  I still from time to time get carried away in the chaos.  But, I do know focusing on what is good and being able to recognize our humanity is the path.  As I often say we are all our own master pieces in the making.  See the good and have compassion for yourself and others.

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Strengthen Your Ego And Find Freedom

October 21, 2010 by  
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Angie Rubin

When our ego is strong and healthy we are no longer vulnerable to other people’s agendas.  We realize that judging other’s worth by such measures as youth, physical appearance, success, money or power is just plain silly.

We know a person’s worth and their journey are complex.  It is the sum of our past, present and future.  And it is our dignity, kindness, strength of character put into practice.

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First Steps Towards Finding Contentment

October 18, 2010 by  
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By Angie Rubin

I can’t tell you how to live your life.  Actually nobody can.  I also can’t tell you how to find contentment.  Again nobody can.  But I can share with you, life tools I have had to learn to live and thrive.   As I share, take what makes sense to you and leave on the computer screen what doesn’t.

Accepting ourselves and our lives as they are today is the first step towards appreciating life.

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