Appreciating What We have

April 15, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

I was invited to dine yesterday with a couple from Brazil plus a few other friends.  I didn’t know the couple but knew of them. She is shorter than me, I’m 5’2″, and in her later 40s or early 50s.  He is about 5’8″ , overweight and in his early 50s.

We all started talking and eventually the subject turned to my losing my husband to cancer. The woman was moved with the way I described my relationship and the journey my husband and I took to fight for his life. Then she said that at least I had experienced true love, something she added she had never experienced.

I was taken aback by her statement being that her husband sat net to her.  Maybe they have some different type of relationship, I thought.  So I asked her how she and her husband had met.  She said it had been at a spa.  She was quick to add it had taken her a while before she agreed to go out with him because of his weight.  I again thought it was strange that she would refer to her husband as fat in front of others.  Did he not care? Finally she shared that her husband’s first wife had also died of cancer.

You might be thinking why I am sharing all this and here it is; as I continued to dine I realized the woman had a fantasy of what her partner should look and be like and her current husband did not fit that picture.  She was so conflicted by the discrepancy between her creation and her reality that she could not see she was married to a very nice man who adores her.  Her anger in feeling trapped is stopping her from fully appreciating the relationship she has.

When I woke up this morning I again thought about the couple and was saddened by how we sometimes don’t appreciate and enjoy our lives because we are so busy chasing an idea.  It was a good reminder of how important it is for us to live in the present and deal with life as is.  And that is why I’m sharing this story.

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