Learning To Set Limits

June 8, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

our orchidsNow that’s a hard one if you are like me.  Setting limits without anger or fear means we respect ourselves enough to say “yes” to certain things and “no” to others.

I’ve always had a hard time doing that because I have always preferred to suck it up than to confront others and risk arguments or ill feelings.  And because I am someone with a great amount of personal resilience, I’ve done some heavy duty sucking up.

But as I dig into who I am and the life I want to live, I realize that at the bottom of my sucking up is a deep seeded feeling that I have no rights.  It doesn’t matter where that comes from.  It matters how I am going to deal with the feelings now.  So I ask myself, why the needs of others – right or wrong – take prevalence over mine?  And I realize that if I don’t look out for myself (read: respect) why would I expect others to do so?

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