Stop Trying To Be Perfect

November 15, 2010 by  
Filed under Featured

Below is a great post by Brené Brown posted on CNN.com.

It speaks to the 1000 lb. gorilla we carry around in our quest to obtain perfection.  In her research, René finds the only way to knock out the beast is by having the courage to speak from the heart with honesty.  To reveal our fears and difficulties with the same excitement as we share what we consider our great traits.

If you aren’t certain of the wisdom in this post a  safe try would be trying this new kind of being – courageously honest – with friends and family members.   I’m sure you will find great freedom in being uniquely you.

Read on.

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Editor’s note: Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent 10 years studying vulnerability, shame, authenticity and courage. She is the author of “The Gifts of Imperfection” (Hazelden) and has a blog on courage.

(CNN) — The quest for perfection is exhausting and unrelenting, but as hard as we try, we can’t turn off the tapes that fill our heads with messages like “Never good enough” and “What will people think?”

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Life Is A Roller Coaster

November 9, 2010 by  
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A friend of mine sent me the below post  “Roller Coaster” by Rabbi Brian.  I wanted to share it with you for two reasons: 1 – It’s a good post, 2 – It comes from someone whose profession is to give answers to tough questions.

I respect Rabbi Brian’s honesty in saying some times life is tough.  It is refreshing when people have the courage to share their feelings even if they are risking turning people off. Here’s someone whose job is to comfort, advice and guide. But in order to truly perform his job, he needs to be honest.

We live in a world where we are taught the only answer to “how are you?” Is “well, thank you.”  We know sometimes we tell others we’re well but we absolutely believe others when they say they are doing great and their life is perfect.  The result of these false exchanges is that we wonder if there is something wrong with us.   After all everyone else seems to be doing just fine.

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The Power Forgiveness Has Against Hatred

October 28, 2010 by  
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Angie Rubin

The more I think about discord and anger the more I realize how poisonous those sentiments are.   When we arrive to a point in our lives where we make a choice between chasing after our misconceptions or taking a journey inward, we start on a cleansing process.    And, as we move towards contentment feelings like resentment and conflict cause damage.  We become ultra-sensitive to them and the reason is very simple; hatred hurts its own host the most.

When people believe the only way they will get rid of the pain they have inside is by exerting the same pain back, all they do is continue to feed resentment.   It takes incredible strength of character to say no to the continuation of hatred.

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Why Is Introspection Important?

September 30, 2010 by  
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Angie Rubin

Without it we would keep reading the same scripts we have created for ourselves and have no possibility of a different life.  We would always play the same role to the same results.

Introspection means observing and processing our own behavior.  Introspection gives us the chance to catch ourselves repeating patterns that causes us pain and change. It becomes second nature to anyone who is invested in living a more peaceful and content life.

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Wedding Anniversary

August 9, 2010 by  
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I have never been too keen on dates but August is a difficult month for me.  August 15th marks two years of my husband’ passing.  August 26th is my forth wedding anniversary but the groom won’t be present.

Without me realizing the weight of these two dates have sneaked up on me and I grief for the man who used to walk around the Silver Lake reservoir singing with me theme songs I had authored for our dog.

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Video Blog – 7

August 4, 2010 by  
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Learning from others and creating a community.  Learning to embrace different experiences without judgement.

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Video Blog – 1

August 2, 2010 by  
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Why I started the Love Project Inc.

This work came out of my need to relate with others who are on a path to truly be who they are and who have the courage to look within and connect with love for themselves and others. It is my hope to form a strong community of people who seek out true contentment.

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How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Being A Stay At Home Dad

July 19, 2010 by  
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I love this post on the Huffington Post.  It’s a candid share of a man living a non-traditional life.

We are often afraid of what others will think of our choices and either stop ourselves from doing what we want or we feel the need to hide our choices.  At the end of the day our lives are for us and are for real.  Our lives are not for show.

Let’s celebrate this man’s courage.

by Brian Gresko

I used to dread when people asked what I did for a living.

“Oh, I’m a writer, and also, ahem… a stay-at-home dad.”

“What do you write?”

“Well … I guess I’m mostly a stay-at-home dad.”

Usually, after an awkward moment of silence, I would change the subject to get the conversation rolling off in some other direction. But there were times when I was dismissively told that staying at home with a baby sounded like fun, for a year or so anyway, as if I was on an extended vacation or just taking a break from my “real” job. Once, a guy asked if I also did the laundry and cooked. I yakked for a bit about the challenge of balancing chores and baby before registering my interrogator’s mocking smirk. For some assholes, there is still such a thing as woman’s work…Continued

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Owning Our Emotions

May 16, 2010 by  
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EYE-4There are times we know exactly why our emotions are what they are. Then there are times they take us by surprise and emotions become challenged. We often find ourselves trying to defend them. Explaining why we are feeling a certain way. Why?

As a kid I remember feeling that I was both the peace-maker in, and protector of, my entire family. As a little girl I would tell people it was rude to stare at my mom who was often in a wheelchair. Peruvian, my father spoke with a heavy accent. I found myself explaining what he said to salesclerks who, most often than not, didn’t understand him. I remember vividly the store where a clerk kept telling my father “I can’t understand you” rather than listen to me trying to explain. My father grabbed my hand and very slowly said to this man, ”Go. To. Hell.” Then he turned to me, “Come on honey let’s go.” I realized that my attempt to protect him, turned into him protecting me. One night, without telling my sister, I went to the store where her boyfriend worked. I found his car and waited for him to come out. They’d had a big fight and she’d been crying for days and no one was going to get away with making my sister cry.

I had all the courage in the world to protect my family. When faced with a situation in which I needed to protect myself however, that courage was nowhere to be found. I became the peace-maker wanting everyone to be happy, even if I wasn’t. Then, when I couldn’t deal with something, I would protect myself by taking the stance that it didn’t exist. Retreating into my thoughts, I would carefully place situations in a box and put them away in a closet. Out of sight, out of mind.

Acceptance… to own our emotions is to accept them. The peace-maker will become our protector.

All I can do is be me, whoever that is.

Bob Dylan

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Stop Taking Yourself So Seriously

May 15, 2010 by  
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heart on the beach

heart on the beach

Sometimes we just take ourselves too seriously.  We have pre-conceived ideas and are often judgmental about ourselves and others.  But how much do we miss out on life by saying “no” to things just because we think they are not proper or don’t fall within the limits of the rule book?  And how much do we use judgment and rules to hide our fear behind?

Fear keeps us from being spontaneous and in the moment.  And what’s this fear about? Maybe it’s of being judged or maybe it is of consequences for being unique and doing things our own way.

Living life to the beat of our own drum requires a good amount of courage and self-esteem.  It also requires not taking ourselves so seriously and sometimes doing things just because we want to.  No thoughts about the outcome only the present experience.

Why am I talking about all of this today?  Because today I let myself go and did something I would have usually not done because of my own preconceived ideas of what a woman of wisdom and maturity should be like, and it was a good experience.  No judging.  Just being present without wondering what it all means.

We have many parts to ourselves that on the outside might seem conflicting: serious, reckless, mature, silly, but they are not.  We just need to recognize that seeming opposition can live in harmony within us.

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