Feeling in a Rut; Here’s Some Help

December 7, 2010 by  
Filed under Featured

I really like this post by Jeffrey Hull on the Huffington Post.   Jeffrey is a writer and a psychologist and in this particular post he gives specific advice in how to change our lives when we find ourselves in a rut.

As we are creatures of habit we tend to turn everything in our lives into a routine.  Regardless of how interesting an activity is, if we repeat it every day in the same fashion, it will soon lose its spark.

In order to keep our lives fresh we must first be in touch with ourselves.  We need to have the relationship with us that lets us know the sadness or lack of inspiration are coming from a life being lived in the same fashion on a daily basis.

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Self-Esteem, A Serious Business

May 16, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

4295397307_51942ab407So much of our angst comes from low self-esteem.   Envy, depression, self-hatred are some of its by products.

The reasons for low self esteem are many and at a certain point they don’t matter anymore.  What matters is to recognize the issue, understand how it affects our lives and change.

In my case my low self esteem came from the “shoulds” I accepted as the measurements of my worth.  By the age of 20 I should have accomplished XYZ, by the age of 30 another XYZ, you get the idea.  Where the shoulds had come from didn’t matter to me.  What mattered is they were making me feel less then – because I had not accomplished the XYZs – and envious of others who I thought had achieved their “shoulds”.

What I had forgotten is that each life is unique.  I had also set up “shoulds” that did not take in consideration a life I had chosen to pursue which was about creativity and self- questioning.  I hadn’t realized I had taken a set of societal values – which were often not in harmony with my own – to be mine.

The self badgering and the constant inner talk of low self esteem make living a hard experience.  When I came to that point I knew I had to find ways to change.  I knew I had to make the voyage inwards to understand who I really was so I could honor my individuality.

In my quest I have learned some truths that I want to share:

There are no two people alike.  None of us have had the same experiences and therefore have the same way to see and process the world.  So how can we possibly compare ourselves to anybody else?

The commitment we have in life is to ourselves.  To give our emotional, intellectual and spiritual self the support needed to experience and grow.

It doesn’t matter what others think of us.  They don’t know and we don’t have the obligation or the time to explain to each person why we want to have specific experiences in life.

There is no right or wrong way of living. I’m not talking about criminal activities which obviously have a right and a wrong, but I’m talking about our own individualities and quirks.

Learning to appreciate our uniqueness is a process of self-discovery which results in freedom.  It is a journey well worth taken.  I know from experience.


Dare To Be

May 8, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

Human Hearts

Human Hearts

Freedom lies in being bold.  ~Robert Frost

We are so goal oriented and afraid that we often squash life’s fire.  It is a tough balance but there is one between being reckless and too safe.

Pick a day and throw all caution to the wind.  Pick a day and be different.  Pick a day and live every sane thought that pops into your mind.  Challenge yourself.

Life needs creativity to prosper.  And we need change to grow and to learn.

As we grow older and understand the cost of loss we become more careful.  We don’t want to suffer and we don’t want to lose.

I think the balance is in reading our true selves – not a neurotic or scared version of us -and giving ourselves the support we need to dare.

There is no strong performance without a little fanaticism in the performer.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


Shaking Things Up

May 3, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

I’m in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, where I was born and raised.  I’m here visiting my parents and friends I still have from when I was a little girl.

When I travel, I’m often reminded about how important it is to take a break from the place and situations I live in. Let me explain: seeing other people and locations that have no direct relationship to my day to day, helps me see things from a different perspective.

When we never take a break from our life, as beings of habit, we tend to respond and see our lives the same way time and time again.  I’m not saying issues go away.  But I am saying we get to see them in a different way. We get to put them in a different perspective.

Solution, inspiration and energy come from allowing creativity to exist in our lives.  Creativity requires time, space and change.  So if we stay stuck in our routines, whatever they are, eventually our lives become stuck.

Now, I know not everyone can take off to Brazil.  And not everyone can take off at all. But we all can take small brakes within our time and financial constraints.  We just need to be interested in doing so.

I’m suggesting in being creative and courageous to try out different things on a regular basis to give ourselves the different perspective that a trip to a foreign country can give us.  Going hiking, to a museum, to the beach, bike riding, checking out all the different “meet-up” groups (www.meetup.com) in our area to join new people and do different things that are attractive to us, buy half-priced tickets to a concert or a play, are just a few ideas on how to take a break.

What I’m trying to say is let’s find things that take us outside of our comfort zone and do them on a regular basis.  Staying stuck is easy, changing our perspectives takes resolution.

Making a list of what these things are, and crossing them off as we go along, is a good a way to make sure we will follow through on this idea of shaking things up.

Life goes really fast and our purpose is to grow as human beings, learn about ourselves and others and find contentment.  Being stuck is not a path to happiness.  Feeding our creativity is.


Slow Down And Unplug

March 29, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

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