Not a great fan of Dr. Drew – for people outside of the US who may not be familiar with his work, Dr. Drew is board certified in internal and addiction medicine. He is also the host of the TV show Celebrity Rehab and the radio show Loveline. While I find him to be very smart and insightful, it bugs me that he uses his knowledge to expose others for his own gain.
Anyway, in the clip below Dr. Drew discusses our obsession with celebrities. In it he is really clear, well spoken delivering great insight on the subject. He discusses our loss of understanding of what really brings us happiness and contentment – relationships and not money or power. He adds because as a society we model after narcissistic behavior of people that are not healthy, we feel empty and in pain.
A couple of days ago I wrote a post, Building Contentment With Real Values that addressed the same theme.
This is very important.
When I first moved to New York from Brazil the thing I missed the most was human contact. In Brazil, when you meet someone you give them one kiss on each cheek instead of shaking hands. You also often hug and hold hands with your family and friends. So I caught myself going to get a manicure more often than I ever had anytime before in my life just to have my hands held.
As I think about it when babies, touching and holding is how we communicate and experience the world. As we start to walk, an adult holding our hand gives us the courage and the safety to take those first few steps.
As we become kids we hold hands with our friends and when we start dating holding hands becomes a whole new experience.
What I most miss about my physical experience with my husband is strolling in the neighborhood on a Sunday morning holding hands. On those moments I felt safe and a part of something bigger than just me.
I wonder why in this country we are so hesitant to touch each other. Why must we shake hands instead of a kiss or a hug? Why if not dating someone we need to go to have our nails done so someone will hold our hands?
I did a little digging on the web and what I came up with as answers were that today hand holding means commitment (between partners) or the streets are too crowded for hand holding or we are too busy to make time to hold hands. To me these all seem silly reasons to not do something that is so easy and can affect the way we feel in the world.
If you don’t believe me below is an excerpt of a New York Times article proving my point.
“Based on what we’ve seen, when we get more physical intimacy we get better relationships, whether a mother and an infant or a couple,” said Tiffany Field, the director of the Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami School of Medicine.
Even monkeys understand the importance of a hand squeeze every now and then. In “Good Natured: The Origins of Right and Wrong in Humans and Other Animals,” Dr. Frans B. M. de Waal, a primatologist at Emory University, wrote that some monkeys hold hands in reconciliation after a fight.
James Coan, an assistant professor of psychology and the neuroscience graduate program at the University of Virginia, has studied the impact of human touch, particularly how it affects the neural response to threatening situations, and said the results of a recent study were more dramatic than he expected.
“We found that holding the hand of really anyone, it made your brain work a little less hard in coping,” Dr. Coan said, adding that any sort of hand-holding relaxes the body.
I do love this country but I’m reverting back to my Brazilian habits when it comes to hugging, kissing and holding hands and if anybody says anything I’ll always have the excuse of being born in Brazil.