Everybody Is Looking For Love. Or Are We?

January 19, 2012 by  
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If you ask anyone the answer will be yes.  We say we want to feel loved and to love.  But the truth is while we do want love we raise so many obstacles that love would have to be a champion jumper to get over all the walls we have built.

In today’s world of online dating going out with the opposite sex (or the same sex) is not a problem. Put up a picture then write a few things about yourself and you are good to go.

On the outside, online dating has facilitated meeting others – something that gets progressively harder as you get older –but it also creates an environment where people come in with laundry lists of what they don’t want and an attitude of “next”.

What is the attitude of “next”?  As a first impression you are not exactly what I think I’m looking for, so next.   Next because just in my geographic area there is thousands of other people eager to meet someone else.  Basically the attitude of “next” has turned us into kids in a candy store.

If you are looking to fall in love that will require a combination of two things: physical attraction and getting to know someone else.  Do we want the same things out of life? Can we be true friends?  Do we respect each other? Do we admire each other? These are questions that can only be answered with time.

As far as the long list of things you don’t want, my suggestion is to exchange those for the things you do want.

So next time you go on a date, try to go without any expectations.  See the other person without comparing them to your fantasy.  Maybe they will surprise you.  If you do seem to have a few things in common, give them a second chance. They might surprise you.  And mostly take your walls down.  If you really want to fall in love, you must be willing to show and share your heart.   Without that there is no falling in love.

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Love And Kisses

April 10, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

Love has no desire but to fulfill itself.  To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.  To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving.  ~Kahlil Gibran

But where do we find love, the romantic kind? If you are out of school and have entered the work force, finding that special someone can be a daunting task.  Most of us work full days and then run errands before wanting to vege out in front of a TV.  Weekends are often spent with so more catching up.

We tell our friends and family we would like to be in a relationship but don’t seem to meet enough people.  Someone then suggests what about a dating site, or some other speed dating organization.  So we give it a try and then use some of the hours we would spend with our friends or running errands to sit in front of a computer.  Before we know we are exchanging emails, phone calls and sometimes actual meetings.

This seems to be all well and good except that in all this activity we leave out a very important tool in meeting others; living in the moment.  How many people do we actually interact on a daily basis?  Think about it.  Coffee shops, dog parks, dry cleaners, super-markets, wine bars, movie lines etc.  What if we were open and present?  Could we make friends?  Could we meet someone we could become romantically involved with?  Could we meet someone who could introduce us to someone else?  Maybe.  But just as maybe as meeting someone online.  Plus by living in the moment we build a life with less anxiety and more spontaneity.  We live in the world and we build connections.  So don’t spend all your time running around or in front of a computer.  Go out do things and meet people while having a good time.

How did it happen that their lips came together?  How does it happen that birds sing, that snow melts, that the rose unfolds, that the dawn whitens behind the stark shapes of trees on the quivering summit of the hill?  A kiss, and all was said.  ~Victor Hugo

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