Looking through Huffpost today, I found the below post. It addresses one of my favorite topics; we can’t be in a healthy relationship until we are healthy ourselves.
The author, Denise Scarbro, talks about being in needy, self-destructive relationships for a few years because she thought those individuals were coming into her life because she had the strength and knowledge to impact their lives in a positive way. Eventually, she came to understand the reason why they were in her life was because of the way she felt inside – needy and off-focus.
There is nothing new about what I’m saying and what she’s saying, but somehow the very clear statement: “we attract into our lives people and situations that reflect the way we feel inside” needs to be thought about and constantly repeated so we don’t forget its wisdom.
If we feel content and at peace with who we are we would never consider anything beyond a hello – and only to be polite – to someone who is not well with themselves. It’s not that we would have to think about the situation. Instinctively we would know that person would not be a good addition to our lives and we would step aside instead of inviting them in.
I’m not talking about being perfect or only letting perfect people in simply because there is no such thing as perfection. But, I am talking about people that have a level of understanding and appreciation of themselves that enables them to have honest and positive relationships.
So, if you find yourself always surrounded by others that obsessively need you or live in an eternal state of drama, ask yourself how they are reflecting YOU. It may be time to pull the outside plug stimulus and concentrate in improving the relationship with the inner-self.
Please read on…
The Trick to Attracting Healthy Relationships
By Denise Scarbro
Have you ever felt like you always attract a certain type of person? I know I have! The same kinds of people seem to present themselves to me all the time. They may have different faces and different names, but in the end the same themes are always there. Not too long ago, I kept finding myself with an emotionally unavailable boyfriend; misunderstood people gravitated to me; needy people always wanted to be my friend; and if there was ever an underdog, we inevitably somehow teamed up. I found myself thinking, “What am I putting out there to attract these people to me?” …Continued